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Pilot's Mess [chit-chat zone]

This is the forum to get to know your fellow pilots and the ONLY place to talk about everything else not really relevant to sci-fi movies, including your personal loves and interests. A true pilot doesn't discuss these issues while on duty.

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Old Feb 16, 2005, 05:09 PM   #1
Registered User
380 flights since Aug 2002
Attack of the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

I was looking at some of the older threads, and I saw Jill's Emergency Drill! thread, which got me thinking, maybe we should have a zombie invasion RP thread. After all, there are a lot of zombie movie fans around here. So, without further delay, I bring you...

Attack of the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies!

The year was 2004. It was business as usual in a top secret bio-chem weapon research lab in a desolate area of the United States. Government scientists were hard at work in developing new weapons to confront new threats in this dangerous, ever changing world. Little did they know that the newest threat would be the result of their new creation (of course, they never do).

There was a meeting going on that involved a dozen government scientists and a military officer. A government scientist was giving a lecture concerning his “brilliant idea” for a new weapon that will change the face of warfare forever. The government scientists, except for the one giving the lecture, and a military officer sat around a conference table and listened while the lecturer, standing, spoke.

SCIENTIST 1: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the Z-Virus!
MILITARY OFFICER: The what virus?
SCIENTIST 1: The Z-Virus! You see, I came up with this idea, and it’s a really great idea. I came up with it myself you see, though with some outside influences, of course, but it’s largely my id-
MILITARY OFFICER (interrupts the SCIENTIST): Will you shut the **** up and tell us what your ****ing idea is already?!
SCIENTIST 1 (disappointed that the MILITARY OFFICER will not hear him out any further): OK. Usually, when an army invades another nation, they usually meet problems such as local opposition. Now, here’s my brilliant idea: We develop some sort of virus that turns the locals into zombies, and then the zombies will take out anyone who isn’t a zombie, and then all we have to do is send in soldiers to exterminate the zombie population. Isn’t it a great idea?
SCIENTIST 2: I have a couple of questions. First of all, what’s with the name, “Z-Virus”?
SCIENTIST 1: Well, you see, I came up with this idea while playing Resident Evil, you know, the whole “T-Virus” thing, but I didn’t want to violate copyright laws, hence the name “Z-Virus”, you know, Z for “Zombies”? It’s genius! GENIUS, I tell you!
SCIENTIST 2: Now for my second question: Wouldn’t this cause outrage in the international community?
SCIENTIST 1: Well, if they complain, we’ll turn them into zombies too! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
SCIENTIST 2 (whispering to SCIENTIST 3): He’s gone mad!
MILITARY OFFICER: I like this idea! When can you start developing this weapon?
SCIENTIST 2: Excuse me, but this is madness! MADNESS, I tell you!

The military officer pulls out a handgun and shoots SCIENTIST 2.

MILITARY OFFICER: Would anyone else care to object?


MILITARY OFFICER: Good. When can you start?
SCIENTIST 1: Right now. Just give me a couple of years or so, and it’ll be done.

After the meeting, the military officer contacted his superiors and informed them of the Z-Virus. Within hours, the senior military officials have begun planning how to sneak the weapon out and use it to stage fake terrorist attacks, after which it will give the government a reason to increase military spending and wage wars on other nations who supposedly “harbor terrorists”.


The Z-Virus has been developed. At first, it was used against insurgents in Iraq, but within weeks, government officials ordered a fake terrorist attack with the Z-Virus to be staged. Bombs carrying the Z-Virus were detonated in several parts of the nation, and the Z-Virus began to spread, not only in the United States, but in other parts of the world as well, as a result of its usage in Iraq.

Shortly after the “terrorist” attacks, major news networks began broadcasting an audiotape of what was supposedly the communication between the leader of a major terrorist network and the President of the United States of America.

FOX NEWS ANCHOR: Shortly after the terrorist attacks, the President of the United States of America was contacted by the terrorist leader responsible for these heinous acts against the American people. The communication between our glorious leader – Long Live Bush! – and the terrorist mastermind behind the attacks was taped, and we at Fox News have been fortunate enough to receive a copy of the audiotape on which this terrifying conversation was recorded. Play the tape!

The conversation on the tape goes something like this:

President George W. Bush: What happen ?
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Vice-President **** Cheney: We get signal.
President George W. Bush: What !
Vice-President **** Cheney: Main screen turn on.
President George W. Bush: It's you !!
Terrorist Leader: How are you gentlemen !!
Terrorist Leader: All your base are belong to us.
Terrorist Leader: You are on the way to destruction.
President George W. Bush: What you say !!
Terrorist Leader: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Terrorist Leader: HA HA HA HA ....
Vice-President **** Cheney: President George W. Bush !!
President George W. Bush: Take off every 'ZIG' !!
President George W. Bush: You know what you doing.
President George W. Bush: Move 'ZIG'.
President George W. Bush: For great justice.

FOX NEWS ANCHOR: That was a truly terrifying tape. It amazes me how our great leader – Long Live Bush! – can maintain his calm even in this kind of situation. He truly deserves to be the President. Well, that about does it, folks. God Bless America! And remember: Long Live Bush! Good night. Now, where the **** is my cocaine?! Wait, what the **** do you mean, we’re still on air?! Oh, ****!

While the news anchor was too busy getting stoned on cocaine, the Z-Virus was spreading all around the world. Within 24 hours, thousands, tens of thousands, even hundreds of thousands, will fall dead. And then they shall rise again as the undead and feast on the flesh and blood of the living…

NOTE: The introduction is not meant to be taken seriously, nor is it meant to be some sort of political statement. Please don’t take it seriously.

Last edited by Lt_Johnny_Rico : Feb 20, 2005 at 11:53 AM.
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Old Feb 16, 2005, 06:03 PM   #2
Sector Marshall
Kieraganion's Avatar
782 flights since Oct 2002
Location: F city, F Prefecture (ACROSS Basement).
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

*Kieraganion looks out a window of the Sciflicks Ship at Earth*

Kieraganion: Well... They're screwed. Now where did I put my sandwhich. Oh yeah! Now I remember, Bob stole it and I was chasing him down. Damn him! I make a sandwhich and his stupid compulsive need to be Evil takes over (I have it too, but atleast I know how to control it), I even made him a sandwhich! And he still takes mine when I have my head turned. Though as I recall, it was becuase of him that I turned my head: "Hey Kier! What's that behind you?!". That sneaky cunning bastard. I'll get him good.

*Walks off and fails to notice the little rocket heading from Earth to the ship*
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Old Feb 16, 2005, 07:43 PM   #3
Sector Marshall
Quintessa's Avatar
875 flights since Jul 2004
Location: here or there
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)


Anybody want some popcorn? I think this'll be a good show... Ooh! That's that boy from class that wouldn't leave me alone! Wow, It's wonderful how graphic this is...

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Old Feb 16, 2005, 08:01 PM   #4
Registered User
380 flights since Aug 2002
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)


Lt_Johnny_Rico/Kai Vito Ulanov (thinks to self): I love Sicily! Great weather, beautiful women, and in the short two months that I've been here, I've become a mafia boss. The drinks are amazing too! Anything that can make me so drunk as to change my name to Kai Vito Ulanov is good in my book.

*Turns on the TV.*

TV Announcer: We now interrupt regular programming to bring you this emergency broadcast.
UN Sec. Gen. Kofi Annan: Five days ago, terrorists attacked several major cities in the United States using biological weapons. Four days ago, we have received reports that all those within five miles or eight kilometers of the blasts have died. Just recently, we have received reports that the deceased have returned to life and are now attacking the living. Repeat, we have received reports that all those who have died as a result of the terrorist attacks in the U.S. have returned to life and are now attacking the living.
TV Announcer: The first reports of such incidents came from areas where American troops have been engaged in heavy combat. In other news, reports of the dead returning to attack the living are coming from all around the world. Nobody is for sure what is causing these events. However, many are speculating if there are any connections between the weapons used in the terrorist attacks in the United States and the weapons used by American troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, and whether or not some type of virus was spread by the use of these weapons.

*Turns off the TV.*

Kai (thinks to self): Oh, ****! This is just like in Night of the Living Dead! Well, except for the reason why the dead are coming back to life. What should I do? I know, I'll go to Ireland and talk to jill_valentine! She'll know what to do. After all, someone who named herself after a Resident Evil character will know how to deal with zombies, I hope.

*Gets up and grabs an AK47, pistols, ammo, hand grenades, and a sword. Walks outside and summons private army.*

Kai: All right, you've all seen the news and know that the **** has hit the fan, so this is what we're going to do: We're going to figure out a way to get to Ireland and meet up with a friend, and then we'll figure something out from there, all right?

*Marches out with private army. Encounters hordes upon hordes of zombies. The zombies are moving about like those in Romero movies, slowly, almost stupidly, shuffling and stumbling about. Private army charges into the zombie hordes, guns blazing.*

Kai: Wait, don't underestimate them! Just because they look like idiots doesn't mean–

Too late, the private army was being killed horribly by the zombie hordes. The soldiers were being torn apart, dismembered, disemboweled, and basically being killed in horrible manners that are too terrible to describe. Screams of "Die, mother****er!" and "Choke on it!" resounded through the air. In less than ten minutes, Kai's private army was killed.

Kai: Oh, ****!

*Sees zombies approaching. Fires AK47 at zombies. A few collapse after their heads explode after being hit, but more keep on coming. Throws hand grenade at zombies. Hand grenade goes off and a small mushroom cloud is seen.*

Kai: Man, must be one of those John Woo hand grenades.

Last edited by Lt_Johnny_Rico : Feb 17, 2005 at 11:02 AM.
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Old Feb 16, 2005, 09:38 PM   #5
Iwata's Avatar
2,558 flights since Aug 2001
Location: Helghan
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

N.Y. City

C-(ontagion)Day +6

"What's up with that stupid-ass callsign, Guerra? Is that some sort of Portuguese thing? What does Iwata mean anyway?"

High above N.Y., Lt. Francisco Guerra flew his Black Hawk in formation with two others. Being the Portugal liason to the U.S. Army was never easy, but ever since things had gone to hell, his comrades turned to him as a target to vent their resentment, if only in a stress-release, "cutesey" way.

"Nah Jack, no Portuguese thing. You wouldn't get it, so I don't want to worry your pretty brain over it. Just focus on the task at hand."

Jack Braddock was his co-pilot and what he had closest to a best-friend in the US. They'd became friends as soon as they met at Fort Bradley on the Flight Training course. Iwata learning the basics of the Black Hawk and Braddock the eager-to-please room-mate.

The other member of their crew was Flight Officer Richard Lymangood, but they just called him "Third". An in-crew joke about the general comparison between a flight officer and the third wheel on a bike. A humourless figure, Iwata and Braddock respected his aloofness as pilot-envy. After all, they flew the bird, but he was just a glorified frequent flier.

Americans... what a mistery. Despite living here for 4 years now, he still couldn't feel comfortable in American soil. It was as alien to him as he guessed Jupiter would be. The country and its people. He missed his homeland. In these troubled days, he was just glad the situation there seemed manageable for now.

Not that it mattered anyway.
Nowadays territory seemed to be gaining a new classification that surpassed all borders: it was either "Safe" or "Compromised".

Right now, they were flying over "compromised". Their mission was simply to provide aerial cover for police and military units sweeping the city looking for survivors.

Looking down, he felt safer than he'd ever felt. NY was a war zone. Fires, small and large, raged across the darkened city. Gunfire and explosions were a constant. Those madmen below were deadly at close range. Whatever virus they carried seemed to make them imune to pain and that made any soldier or cop's work a lot harder. However, they seemed unable to grasp the notion of weaponry, and they bloody well couldn't fly up to him.

Yessir... He was one of the lucky ones.

What the hell was going on anyway? He'd heard the reports about the so-called "living dead", but he believed that as much as he believed his Black Hawk could just wake up one night and fly away.

Living Dead... yeah, right... more likely some bloody bug in the water supply of the world's largest cities, courtesy of your friend Al Quaeda. Those bastards didn't care if their weapons turned and bit them in the ass so long as they harmed the West. This had their signature alright.

Braddock didn't think so. The first they'd heard of it, they stayed up all night debating it. They had no flights planned that night, and no one knew the extent of the damage yet. Brddock believed this was divine punishement. Funny thing was, the bastard's way to deal with it was "Let's enjoy the last few days", and he seemed to have found a new Joi de Vivre, ridicullous though it may sound.

Lymangood had just grunted something along the lines of "who cares who they are, let's just kill them and be done with it".

The radio crackled to life, snapping him back the the ragged cityscape beneath him.

"Cougar Flight, respond to distress signal. Military recon unit requires Medevac, bearing 050. Seems like Times Square is the new Alamo, over."

Iwata spoke into his mike. "Control, this is Cougar One. Roger that, Cougar Flight inbound, bearing 050, ETA under 5 minutes. Any other flights nearer to the site, over?"

"Negative Cougar One, all other flights otherwise engaged. Be advised, total evacuation of the city has been ordered, so be ready for some traffic."

"Copy that, Control, thanks for the warning."

What in the Nine Hells..? The entire city was being abandoned? That made no sense.

He looked at Braddock, looking for a comment, but he seemed to still be digesting the news. He switched to his flight intercom so that the rest of his flight, Cougar 2 and Cougar 3, could heard him.

"Ok gents, you heard it as well as I did. We're doing some cab job and then bugging out. Why doesn't really matter now. Let's just get this done and go home."

"Roger, Cougar One."

"Copy that, Cougar One."

There! Times Square. He remembered the lighting from the few nights he spent in NY. The place was a festival of light, a monument to night-time city life.

Now it had a different kind of lighting. Strobbing reflexes of gunfire and explosions reflected in the few unshattered windows of the buildings surrounding him.

In the center, Iwata saw a gathering of military vehicles opening up a space for his flight to land.

"Cougar Flight, Cougar One is inbound."

Gently, Iwata touched down. No sooner had his bird touched the ground, six soldiers jumped in and shouted at him. "GOGOGO! Get this ****ing thing in the air NOW!". He was only too pleased to comply. He hated touching down at hot LZ's. But, the soldiers behind were Lymangood's responsibility now. His chance to play Flight Attendant once more to spoiled brats with guns. Only these brats looked scared as hell.

"Cougar One coming out. Cougar 2, line up and touch down."

Iwata pulled back on the collective, and his Black Hawk rose up, having spent less than 10 seconds in the ground.

Already he could see Cougar 2 touching down, while Cougar 3 stood above it ready to take its place as soon as Cougar 2 was clear.

"Cougar One, this is Cougar 2. We have some sort of commotion down here. We're stacked above our weight limit. These guys seem to be panicking, and they won't get off. All these mother****ers seem to be trying to hitch a ride on our bird."

Iwata looked down. Things looked complicated. Cougar 2 seemed swarmed by panicking soldiers. To the left he could see a barricade giving in to a sudden horde of maniacs that seemed to have come out of nowhere.

"Cougar One, this is Cougar 3. Holy ****, can you see that?!"

"That" was a human wave of dementia rushing towards Cougar 2, still on the ground.

Iwata was starting to feel a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Cougar 2, lift off NOW! Get the **** out of the ground NOW!"

"Copy, Cougar 2 coming out."

Looking bellow, he could see Cougar 2 straining his engines, he could hear the helicopter's screaming for strength as it tried to get off the ground with its belly full of armed soldiers.

It failed.

The helicopter rose a few meters and bounced back down just as the last vestiges of gunfire resisting the human wave vanished in a sea of darkness. Suddenly there was no Cougar 2. Only a black mass enveloping the helicopter.

"Jesus Chist, what the **** is going on down there?! Cougar 2, come in, over."

Braddock seemed close to panic. He was fixed on the sight bellow, as it seemed that blackness was eating the helicopter whole.

"Brad! Raise HQ, tell them we have a bird down."

"Cougar One, this is Cougar 3, there is NO WAY I'm going down there. No ****ing way."

"Cougar 3, this is Cougar One, hold your station and wait for further instructions, over."

"Negative Cougar One, I'm getting the **** out of here."

Iwata looked out his port window at the low flying Cougar 3. He knew what was coming. Add a panicking crew to a hazardous flight area and there is only one possible outcome.

"Cougar 3, you are flying too low to try anything stupid, just hang on and GET A ****ING GRIP, OVER!"

Cougar 3 tried to pull out too fast from amidst a labyrinth of buildings.

Iwata heard a scream. "OH ****! WATCH OUT! LEFT THROTTLE, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT!"

It's rotors struck first. They carved a scar into a high-rise building next to it as Cougar 3 tried to speed up and away from the urban maze.

The rest of the Black Hawk followed. it smashed sideways into the building and its fuel tank ruptured. Superheated fuel spilled all over its carcass and panicked crew as the dying bird fell to the ground beneath it.


When the bird hit the ground, something ignited the fuel. Iwata would never know what and he didn't care. But the sight of that exploding helicopter falling into a crowd of people bellow never left him. No one tried to run. It looked like anything but a crash. The people bellow just stood there and gazed ahead as tons of burning metal fell on them. Not one of them tried to escape.

Had the entire world gone mad? What the **** was going on?

"Control, this is Cougar One. Cougar 2 and Cougar 3 are down. I have no idea what's going on down there, I only want one thing: Give me a bearing, get me the **** out of this place."

"Roger Cougar One, home bearing 130. Be advised, new instructions, do not, repeat, do NOT attempt to land in the city, Cougar One. If your mission requires you to do so, you may consider those orders invalid and RTB. Apparently there were a number of incidents on the ground and we already lost some birds that way, over."

Iwata flet like laughing, crying, shouting and punching the ground controller, all at the same time if at all possible.

Instead, he just went by the book.

"Roger, Control. Cougars 2 and 3 have been lost to ground action as well, over."

Braddock stared at Iwata. "Those sons of *****es. If they'd warned us five minutes ago those guys would still be alive right now."

"Yeah well, maybe they didn't know back then. But we sure do know now. I just wish we could keep this baby in the air forever. Somehow touching down isn't as much fun as it was. Up is easy. Down's sort of unsettling."

Iwata looked around. All across the sky he could see helicopters making their way to the city's borders. Like rats leaving a sinking ship. He wondered if things were like this back home, but he doubted it. Latest reports spoke only of isolated incidents.

As he flew over the city, he could make out pockets of resistance here and there, fighting against a tidal wave of cannibal maniacs. On rooftops across the city, small groups of people waved at him, at any and all helicopters flying above them. But there was nothing he could do. After what he'd just been through, there was no way he was going down over NY.

With a final wish of good luck for those left behind in that urban battlefield, Iwata flew his crew home.

Last edited by Iwata : Feb 17, 2005 at 04:06 PM.
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Old Feb 17, 2005, 12:35 AM   #6
Mattman187's Avatar
111 flights since Jul 2003
Location: Bring me one of your young on a roll.
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

MattmaN emerges from his fallout shelter.

MattmaN: Well'p, let's get to looting...
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Old Feb 17, 2005, 02:54 AM   #7
Psycho Teddy Sausage
Nexus's Avatar
3,648 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Seraph's pocket
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

*Nex hangs out at a shopping mall with Splend.*

So why are we hangin' out here?

They have a cinema - I want to make a tent outside and stay there till April when the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie comes out, so I'll be first in line.

Groovy. You wanna call Bob and invite him over?

I did. He should be coming over soon.

If he doesn't, let's go over to his place and then drag him back here.

Are you ****ing crazy? I'm not going to Cornwall - not after watching Straw Dogs...

I love this place. If something ever happens, like zombies take over the world, this would be a good place to hang out. You know, like in Dawn of the Dead.

You watch movies too much.

Look who's talking...

Whatever - now, as we wait for Bob, I say we go round burning posters of upcoming American remakes of cool films.

Say, does this place seem any...different to you? The people in the mall, I mean.

*Nex and Splend look over a balcony and get a great view of the entire cathedral of consumerism below them. As cheesy shopping mall music plays, they see a bunch of mindless zombies walking around, dazed and confused, entering and leaving all their favourite shops...*

Nope, they're usually always like that.
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Old Feb 17, 2005, 03:15 PM   #8
Sector Marshall
Kieraganion's Avatar
782 flights since Oct 2002
Location: F city, F Prefecture (ACROSS Basement).
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

Kier: Where the hell is HE?! I've been looking all over for him. In fact, I haven't seen anyone. 'Ello, what this?

*Kier spots a note stuck to the control screen*


We went to Earth on vacation. Keep the place clean while we're gone. Tuna and Jack Daniels are in the fridge. And make sure to feed TWL's tiger. And make sure you take...*blah, blah, blah*

The Sciflicks Squad

P.S. Make sure you reset the Hamster traps."

Kier: First, does it fail to register in their minds that I am still a cat and am unable to to clean squat, except for my own penis? And second, when the hell did they plan a trip to Earth and why didn't they invite me?! And third... THIS THING IS DATED 6 YEARS AGO!!! So that's where they've been, I though I had gone crazy. (I wonder, then, who ate my sandwich and the one I made for Bob; who is obviously not here? Am I actually going crazy?) This is unforgivable! That's it then, like hell if they are going to have a good time without me. I'm going to Earth. ...TWL has a Tiger?


Kier: I still wonder who ate my sandwich.

*In the distant corridors of forgotten air ducts a single word is heard: "Puuchu!"*

Kier: Well I better get going. I'll just set the ships' environmental setting to auto...Done. And now head to a transport ship. I wonder where I should go first, I think I'll start with my home town. I haven't been there in ages. Alright, all strapped in. Now I just hit the button an-

*Suddenly, Kier is shot of the back part of the ship like a greased turd traveling immensely fast.

Kier: Oh crap! Here comes the Atmosphere!

*Kiers' transport ship suddenly turns into a big fire ball and five seconds after leaving the ship, Kier crashes in Denver.*

Kier: Ugh, I'm going to need a drink. Where am I? Ahh... It looks to be the 16th Street Mall.

*Kier notices a figure loom up from behind him*

Kier: Er...Hello.

Figure: ArRrRrRrRrRrRrRrGgGhHhHh!

Last edited by Kieraganion : Feb 17, 2005 at 03:26 PM.
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Old Feb 17, 2005, 03:39 PM   #9
Father of Lies
Demosthemighty's Avatar
1,104 flights since Jun 2004
Location: The left hand of power
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

<Demos walks out of a gas station restroom after draining the lizard, notices a person shambling toward him>

Demos: Hey buddy, whats wrong with you?

Guy: unnnhhhh....

<Demos takes a step toward him>

Demos: Hey, you alright?

<man jumps on Demos, mauls him to death, and then feasts. Gets up, and shambles away.>
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Old Feb 17, 2005, 04:15 PM   #10
n/a flights since
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

C-Day +6

Kai drove slowly through the streets of a small Sicilian town in his bulletproof car. Normally, he would be surrounded by his private army, but his soldiers have all suffered a slight case of dismemberment/disembowelment/eaten alive/death. When he first came to Sicily, he had hoped to come here for a peaceful vacation, but unfortunately, due to events out of his control, his vacation was anything but peaceful.

On his first day at Sicily, he was out for a walk when he saw a man reaching into his coat and pulling out a gun, ready to fire at a well-dressed, elderly man. Kai shouted at the old man and warned him about the assailant. When the assailant turned toward the source of the noise, he was gunned down by someone who Kai could only presume to be the old man's bodyguard. The old man thanked Kai for his help and introduced himself as [Name removed to protect the innocent], the local Mafia boss. Kai, having just had a drink and not completely thinking clearly, asked the Mafia boss for a temporary job in the Mafia. Within the next two months, Kai carried out a series of jobs for the Mafia boss, including but not limited to, kidnapping, smuggling, and even performing a couple of hits, and rose through the ranks of [Name removed]'s criminal organization, eventually becoming his bosses second-in-command.

One day, the boss passed away due to heart complications, and Kai, seizing this opportunity, used his late employer's thugs to carry out a series of hits to eliminate all contenders for the position of the head of the Mafia, thus becoming the leader of the criminal organization.

Somewhere along the way, Kai got drunk and changed his name to Kai Vito Ulanov and managed to piss off some local corrupt cops by forgetting to bribe them with insanely high sums of money.

And now not only is there a ****ing zombie problem, I lost my private army. That's just ****ing great, Kai thought to himself. Look on the bright side: At least I won't have to worry about those cops that I forgot to bribe. He smiled inwardly but then felt a bit guilty for being happy about what was going on here.

All around him, there was looting, screaming, random shooting, and, basically, chaos. As he drove, he saw something in the middle of the streets. What the bloody Hell is that? he thought to himself as he stopped his car to get a better look. He almost puked at the ghastly sight: A couple of men lying dead in a pool of blood in the middle of the street, their insides torn out by the living dead.

Poor bastards, he thought to himself.

Suddenly, the corpses rose up and began to walk, slowly, towards the car. Kai stepped on the accelerator and ran straight into the zombies, crushing one underneath the car and sending the other flying through the air and landing right into a couple of cops who are, in vain, attempting to maintain order.

The zombie landed right on top of one of the policemen, who then fell over on the other. As the two policemen tried to get up, the zombie grabbed one and bit into his neck and ripped out a chunk of flesh. Blood spurted out of the policeman's wound. The other fired a shot at the zombie, but the zombie kept on coming and got close enough to sink his teeth into the side of the policeman's head. The zombie bit right through its victim's skull. When the zombie losened its grip on the the dead policeman, his victim's head fell backwards, the grey matter leaving his skull like wine leaving a broken bottle.

As the carnage was taking place, Kai had already drove away as fast as he could, running over anyone who happen to be in his way. The good thing is, the only ones stupid enough to stand in front of an oncoming vehicle going at 100 kilometers per hour were zombies.

OK, where the **** did these Goddamn ****ing zombies come from? The news report says that the first incidents of the dead returning to life and attacking the living in areas where American troops were engaged in heavy combat, so in Iraq and Afghanistan. The same things have been happening recently in major American cities that were the targest of "terrorist" attacks - terrorist attacks, yeah right, where the **** would terrorist get weapons like this? Most likely the U.S. government did it themselves just to gain worldwide sympathy after their ****-ups in Iraq while at the same time giving their government an excuse to increase military spending and further crack down on civil rights, all in the name of "National security" no doubt - so whatever biological weapon that was used in the American cities was probably the same **** that the U.S. military used in countries where they have met opposition. But how does that explain the incidents in other parts of the world, then? Was the virus somehow spread by wind? But this place isn't that close to Iraq or Afghanistan, much less the American cities. Did some infecteds arrive here, either as refugees or smuggled here by some snakeheads? These questions ran through Kai's head as he drove towards the port at which his private boat was located.

As he arrived to the port, he wondered where he would go. After all, he didn't know where he could find Jill if he went to Ireland, which could be a problem if it turns out that some poor bastards who were infected or bitten managed to get there in an attempt to escape from the terror that was engulfing their homes.

When Kai found and boarded his boat, he reached into his pocket for the keys that would start the boat. Kai, you ****ing idiot, he thought to himself as he realised that he left his keys in his other pants. Damn it. Out of all the days you could leave your ****ing keys in your other pants, you had to do it today.

Just then, he heard someone scream, "Kai, you bastard! We got some unfinished business to take care of!"

Kai turned around and muttered under his breath, "Oh, ****" The cops that he forgot to bribe were after him. Can this day get any ****ing worse?! Kai thought to himself as he loaded his AK47 got ready to deal with the cops.
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Old Feb 17, 2005, 04:16 PM   #11
Iwata's Avatar
2,558 flights since Aug 2001
Location: Helghan
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

Someone forgot to login...
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Old Feb 17, 2005, 04:16 PM   #12
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380 flights since Aug 2002
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

Yeah, that was me.
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Old Feb 17, 2005, 04:22 PM   #13
Sector Marshall
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875 flights since Jul 2004
Location: here or there
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

*wanders back into spotlight*



As Quint wanders around her living room, listening to tales of living dead on her ancient radio, a very rare and equally surprising event takes place.

A thought occurs to Quint.

Quint: You know I bet it isn't the best time to be in Wisconsin right now...

*Looks outside to see chaos, death and destruction*

Quint: Yeah, I should prolly do something... you know... go or something. Yeah, I should prolly get up, get armed, and go out and like... leave. Or something.

*Quint finds her colections or rocks, marbles and anything small and throwable. She then resumes her seat, with popcorn as well as a book and her several small throwable objects.*

*she waits*

*she waits some more*

Quint: HA! First one!

A zombie stumbles in the front door. It turns out to be the boy next door.

Quint: Kyle? Is that you? Are you all right? No? Good. Serves you son of a ***** right.

Kyle: ...

*Quint throws a green marble and it hits Kyle straight in the eye*

Quint: Take that!

Kyle: ...

*Quint then proceeds to throw the entire bucket at her ex-friend. Then sudenly another thought occured to her.*

Quint: Kyle? Oh, sorry... you must be a zombie. For a second there I thought you were really... you know you.

*Kyle-ish stares blankly with several holes in his face. A few are still occupied by the objects that made them*

*Quint leaves for the back bedroom*

Quint: Hm, if I were a gun, where... would... I... be... hidden! Aha! Under the bed... Wait, Under... the bed? What? Oh nevermind it.

*Quint eye's the new shot gun she has just become handler of*

Quint: Nice... Nowl et's see how well deer hunting paid off.

*Quint rounds back over to the living room and finds kyle. He's only shuffled about two paces forward. Quint shoots him*

Quint: Huhn. Always wanted to do that. Huhn, always wanted to say there's a dead person in my living room, too. Now where's the car? I think I'll take me a little drive.
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Old Feb 17, 2005, 11:19 PM   #14
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111 flights since Jul 2003
Location: Bring me one of your young on a roll.
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

Snapps back to Kier...

"Figure": Arrgh!...

Suddenly, a shot comes from nowhere, hitting the zombie in the head...

Voice: Yeah! I got that mother****er!

Kier: Who was that?!?

Slowly, the person approaches, weilding a heavily modified H&K G36K, finally showing his face...

MattmaN: Who'd ya think? ****in' George Romero?
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Old Feb 18, 2005, 03:17 AM   #15
Psycho Teddy Sausage
Nexus's Avatar
3,648 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Seraph's pocket
Re: Attack fo the Flesh-Eating Killer Zombies! (The Official Zombie Invasion RP Thread)

*Splend and Nex in the shopping mall. They're in Music Zone, which only has one zombie in (at the till). They still haven't realised that it's a zombie.*

Look, you drunk fu*k, I just wnat you to give me a plastic bag. I don't want to carry these DVDs everywhere. Mostly because they're pirates. Come on, I travelled across the globe to get these!

Zombie at the till:

Oh fer Chrissakes.

*The zombie's phone rings. It's the Crazy Frog ringtone.*


That's it, turn that thing off! TURN IT OFF!

*Nex loses his patience. He runs out of the shop for a few seconds. He comes back in with an Uzi and shoots the guy at the till, takes a plastic bag and leaves. Splend follows.*

Where the hell did you get that gun?

The shop next door.

There's a gun shop here?!

Well, we ARE in America.

*Splend looks around and watches the mindless zombies creep up towards them.*

Wow, what are they, fu*king stoned?

*Suddenly, a complete and random moment that only happened to move the plot forward, a plane suddenly crashes in through the ceiling and lands right next to Nex and Splend. Iwata gets out.*

Damn...I must have took a wrong turn. hat doesn't usually happen.

What the fu*k is going on?!

I am Lt. Francisco Guerra. Erm...where am I?

New York.


Erm, you wouldn't happen to know what's wrong with these people, would you?

(after examing the zombies) No, but I don't like the look of them. I haven't seen anything like this since I last went to Woodstock, '99.

We're surrounded by them now! Jeez, they move slowly.

Come on, I got an idea!

*Iwata snatches the Uzi off Nex, shoots some zombies in front of them, runs ahead and jumps off a balcony.*


Are you all right?

'Course I'm all right! Never better! Get down here!

*Splend jumps off, Nex snatches more stuff from the gun store and jumps off also. He lands on his feet, but, miraculously, he's okay, but Iwata is in some pain because he accidently landed on a pencil.
*Iwata opens up a car that's in the middle of the mall (you know what I mean, the cars that are just placed there and people look at) and hot-wires it like in DotD.*

Come on, get in!

*Splend jumps in and Nex sits at the back, with a shotgun pointing out of the boot of the car, again, like in DotD.
*Iwata drives through the mall and runs over some zombies as Nex shoots some from behind.*

I have no idea why we're doing this or who we're killing but this is great!

*Iwata accidently crashes into a wall.*

Sorry, uh, I'm usually better with planes.

*They get out and Nex gives them some weapons and they run off...trying to find a safe place to hide...
*Five minutes later, they're in a porno theatre.*
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