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Old Apr 10, 2003, 03:50 PM   #91
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
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3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Fan/Original Fiction

I thank you all for your kind words

You hit it right on the head, One

At least it's got me writing again - here's to the future !
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 11:21 AM   #92
Tack
Spawn of Nurgle
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1,492 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Portland, Oregon.
Re: Fan/Original Fiction

Thats pretty dark stuff Nex. Great but dark.
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Old May 10, 2003, 11:41 AM   #93
Bayleaf48
Hero Of Time
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1,316 flights since Jun 2001
Location: Barnstaple, North Devon, England
Smile My Fan Fiction

This is the Introduction To My Fan Fiction, it's 'grouped' together like a diary & is based on the character Michael David "Bayleaf" Wilson, please read & tell me what you think of it as you lot ARE THE 1ST to read it!

Intorduction To Diary By Michael David Wilson

Date: 19th April 1970

I have decided to keep a diary whilst I am in the fire briagde in a hope that should something happen to me (be it early retirement or death), I will always be remembered by my future watch mates & family for who I really am & also for my own personal use, in that when I do offically retire I'll be able to 'look back' on my career & be content.

No one knows about this diary, except for one: my best friend John Hallam & he has given me a solemn promise that if for any reason what-so-ever I am unable to complete this diary he will write the final entry for me & we both hope that that it won't come to that, but in a career such as the fire brigade, there's just no knowing, but one thing that I do know is this: I won't be giving up without a fight.

It's nice to know that not only has John Hallam joined the fire brigade, but so too has Albery Quigly & since us three have been friends for a considerable length of time, it was only natural that we were all going to be starting our careers with in the brigade at the same time & we all hope that our caeers won't be 'cut short'.

Should anyhting happen to me, I don't know what will happen to this diary of mine, as I've never exactly thought about that, but yet I do hope that it simply won't be thrown away as I hope that it will tell people about my career, watch mates, members of the brigade etc., but I can't just tell, still at least there's one thing I can be certain of & that is I'm goign to write in it as often as I can.

Maybe someday more people will be told by me of this diary, but right now I'd rather just leave it at JOhn for the time being as out of him & Bert, I actually trust John more because basically he's known me longer than Bert & also that John will never, ever break any promise nor betray anyone's trust & he is also aware of the importance of me doing this diary & it's secrecy at the moment, however I do hope that one day more people will know about it because becomes rather important as my career progresses, but for now it's not important as I've got basic trainig to complete, new people to meet & a 2yrs probation period to pass, I just only hope right now that I do make it because if I don't, both this diary & John's promise will be a waste of time
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Old May 13, 2003, 05:49 PM   #94
Bayleaf48
Hero Of Time
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1,316 flights since Jun 2001
Location: Barnstaple, North Devon, England
Smile Re: Fan/Original Fiction

Both of youra are very good NeXus & Splendiferous
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Old Jun 2, 2003, 09:31 AM   #95
ThinWLady
Mrs. Tony Harrison
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1,295 flights since Feb 2002
Location: Swinging Organ
Wink Re: Fan/Original Fiction

A Champignon

Let my hands touch you. My head is in a dream but my hands are still alive. They were born to do this, they tell me so in every move they make. Is this okay? Do you feel me? Be still now.

Without your answer I’ll carry on. My mouth babbles stupid things. It wants to speak because it has been so long time alone. No, no. No kisses with these lips, they are not mine. Yet. Let my cool hands caress you. They leave your rocky hills only to swim in your rivers. Your heat is mine. My head escapes from its dream and I smile. My eyes reach up something new. There’s never stuff around me in my dreams. This richness scares me! No. Don’t try to mix us. I can take care of myself. Look at you, my hands are leaving you. Where are my legs? They belong to another person. Do I look fat in black?

You are waiting. Not even a sigh from you. I’m glad that you don’t speak. I’m sitting far away from you, on a wooden chair in a corner of the room and I’m sorry that this furniture got me faster than you did. Show me unhungry eyes, let your lips be a harmless bow, don’t wait so much from me and never let me know about it. The worst teacher would take my hands brutally and use them as his own. The worst teacher wants to have only himself, not me. I wanna be good for you but nobody wants me. You know why? My head wants to be on the top of all when my body doesn’t.

“Maybe you’re asking too much?” Was that you speaking? Oh, you sweet baby. Your timing never fails. No, that’s not true. You, humble you. Here are my hands again. Your lips on my skin. This child shivers so easily. Dew-drops in my garden. Moments fly.

Is there insects in this jungle? “Go for the ultimate spin!” My shape is not moving. Was that a joke? Was that yes or no? Would I travel to Japan and avoid the statues of Buddha? Yes, my darling, I would. “You can trust me.” Could I really?

I’m not sure where to walk. Left goes to the left, right goes to the right. My fingers have found your head. They’re trying to find something new. I’m landing lazily on your valley. Now it’s better. When a moment is gone, I’ll ask you to show what’s on the other side of the globe. “But the sun is on this side”, you’ll answer and confuse me. Is that you talking about me or yourself? Let my fingers see what my eyes can’t. Oh, I’m in Switzerland! Cuckoo clocks and cheese come from here... But I’m not interested in them. “When you’ll be back I can offer some Pepsi to you.”

Below the silky skies I turn back. I’m with me in a dream. “You look weird.” And you’re a champignon. Why can’t I be nice? Shame on me. Was I thinking about fruits? “I’m gonna weed your garden.” Is he coming now? Enjoy, maybe he’ll enjoys too. I’m blind.
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Old Jun 3, 2003, 06:44 PM   #96
Bayleaf48
Hero Of Time
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1,316 flights since Jun 2001
Location: Barnstaple, North Devon, England
Question Re: Fan/Original Fiction

Should I post the Final Entry for my diary or not? as I know I'll cry whilst typing it out & I'll ONLY do it IF any one's interested in reading it

By the way, yours is very good ThinW
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Old Jul 9, 2003, 03:16 AM   #97
ThinWLady
Mrs. Tony Harrison
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1,295 flights since Feb 2002
Location: Swinging Organ
To person who said "it's odd"

(Post it, there's never enough text... )

an episode with an ancient touch and a possible cannibal

“Yes, you must think it’s weird. I understand you perfectly when you can not to do it. See, I’m not really a human”, she said and whispered something into the wind. Something that I couldn’t hear. Probably nothing. She had these odd habits, you know.
“So, you’re the tooth fairy, eh? Or Nike?”
She smiled and took a couple of steps so she could be closer to the columns and look at the sky. But she didn’t make that look. She just watched her red toe nails and smiled. Theatrically.
“No, honey. I’m still creating myself. I’m nothing”, she told to me and gave a glance at my direction. Her eyes never really caught me, but in a movie that would have looked great. What an actress. “That sounds like self-pity to me. All right, you’ve put this show on just for me, am I right?”
She didn’t nod. She just kept on smiling. I wasn’t sure if was she annoying or just miserable little bastard. She looked fine. But that never told everything. At least I thought so.
She opened her sweet lips to say more. “Do you want me to cry? To beg my heart from you?”
“No”, I sighed. My hands continued the sentence while my mind was too lousy to find good words for the situation. She was reading me. She looked always a bit bored when she was doing it.
“Oh, really... That’s what the humans do in this kind of situations. But you must know, it’s not my way. I left my heart in a cold room years ago”, she told to me and looked me warmly. Like a mother. That made me feel even more willing to leave. She had been boring and never there when needed her. I never asked much. “A cold room?”
She came to me and touched gently my arm. I knew that a single touch would have made her happier than anything else, but it wasn’t me touching her. “You’re not the first, not even the last. Although I wish you would have been. These things make me always so tired. Especially when I start to wait the last day and it seems to never come”, she said.
I sighed again. “If you wanted this to end, why you didn’t end it?” She walked back to the columns. I didn’t saw her eyes when she answered: “Because, dear, I’m playing nice. Look, I just push people. They feel happier in that way.”
“Can’t you see that this is dying? Do you feel sad at all?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Not really. Well, a bit. Especially when I lost my contact and I can’t hear even a beep... But as I said, I’ve left my dear little organ far away, in a safe place. It’s too...”
“Hey, I never asked you to give me an organ”, I shouted. She gave me pair of big and round eyes. Yeah, she looked as funny as that sounds. “But at times you hoped that I would have done it”, she said and made me to think. She was right. I would have enjoyed to see her heart jumping on my table. “Well, I needed it myself”, she laughed.
“You dirty bitch! I’ll bet you have it with you!” I ran to her and took a good look into her throat. It was very dark in there. “Actually, I’m not even interested in this”, I said and turned my back to her. “I know. You’re a nice guy. You’re so sweet that you will get plenty of livers, hearts and brains in your life.”
She truly was weird. What kind of a woman wishes that for anyone? Oh yes... She wasn’t a human. She was nothing. When I realised that completely she was already goon. And I didn’t miss her. But I surely wanted some new organs. Enjoyable little things...
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Old Aug 22, 2003, 11:01 AM   #98
Nexus
Psycho Teddy Sausage
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3,648 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Seraph's pocket
Re: Fan/Original Fiction

I'm gonna give the fic about me a rest. Here's a piece of Fan Fiction about my favourite thing in the whole world...

A fan fic about SciFlicks!!!

(naturally )

SciFlicks SQUAD!: The Fan Fiction

Ivanhoe's Last Entry

"Captain's Log. Stardate...um, 22nd August. We have encountered many threats to us in this dangerous universe and my crew have done nothing. Half of them were playing Cluedo, Godammit! Something must be done..."

Captain Ivanhoe pressed "ENTER" on his pad, stood up and screamed out loud, "You're all ****in' fired!"

The New Crew

The first thing Nex said as he got in line was, "Holy ****!" Quite unsurprising, considering the fact that it turned out that the Starship SciFlicks NCC-666-A was recruiting 2,527 new pilots.

2,527 new pilots! Damn...the old crew must of been pretty lousy. Nex knew that there'd be a lot of people who'd go and work onboard SciFlicks but not this many...

"Hey dude." said a voice behind Nex. Nex turned around a saw one of the pilots behind him.

"Uh, hi."

"What's ya name?" he asked.

"Nex...uh, Nexus Six, sir! Cluster Admiral of Starship SciFlicks, sir!"

The reply was a laugh. "Heh, don't worry, I can't imagine I, the Splendiferous One, could have a rank higher than you. I'm useless. That's why I'm signing up to be the ship's cook."

"Cool, you can cook?"

"Er...no. But I can make toast though."

"Next!" the voice from the giant speakers in front of Nex shouted. Nex went up to the Sign-Up Booth. Behind it was an ugly old lady with a cigarette in her mouth and green hair.

"Uh, Nexus Six. Cluster Admiral."

"Cluster Admiral?!" the old woman laughed. "No way, ****wad, ya can't just go in and be a Cluster Admiral straight away. Wossyer name, again?"

"Nexus...Nexus Six..."

"Well, according to my Register, only the oldest and wisest of the Universe can go there. And, frankly, ya don't look like the type who has any experience in flying."

"What?!" Nex cried. "That's a lie! Of course I've had ****in' experience!"

"When?"

"Well...I went on a plane to Florida last year, as a holiday..."

"No, lad," said the old woman, "Ya can't be a Cluster Admiral. Ya can't even be a Starfighter!" She laughed.

"Hurry up, c'mon!" said someone behind the Splendiferous One.

"Well, if you must get in so urgently," the woman said sarcastically, "then just tell me what rank ya want and make sure you have ****in' experience!"

"Bob, Darth Bob." he said. "Ship's Entertainer."

"Ah, the ship's entertainer," the woman replied, "no experience required for that - it's all the same crap. Next."

"Wait!" Nex cried with a light bulb above his head - he had an idea. "Can I sign up as ship's entertainer too?"

"Sure, whatever. Now git inside, ya little ****."

Nex went in. He heard the Splendiferous One say, "One. Splendiferous One. And, if you don't mind me saying, I think being the ship's cook is a crap job so you can stuff it up ya ass."

There was a slight pause. Then he heard him say, "Entertainer, *****. Ship's entertainer."

The Splendiferous One entered the ship with a childish grin on his face.

"Well, I'm sick of this corridor and you two guys - I'm going to sleep in my room for the next three hours." Bob said as he left Nex and the Splendiferous One all alone.

"So...ship's entertainer too, huh?" Nex said.

"Yup. Hey, two more guys are signing up for the job!"

Nex turned around and saw the two new entertainers: Dwayne Hicks (no relation to the Aliens dude) and a woman called Flowrchild.

No, it wasn't Flowrchild - it was someone in that small cage she was carrying. In the cage was a young man who was all tied up and a Hannibal Lector mask wrapped around his mouth. Nex noticed that he had a collar around his neck, which read, "JACKER. IF FOUND, PLEASE DON'T RETURN."

"Wow, he's the new entertainer?" Nex asked Flowrchild.

"Oh yes," she replied, "but he's a little...insane. I'm the only one who can calm him down - he only listens to me.
"And you are?"

"Six. Nexus Six," Nex replied.

"And you...?"

"One, Splendiferous One. Friends call me Splend."

"I'm Dwayne!" Hicks said, even though she never asked him what his name was, "but you can call me Azrael."

There was an awkward pause that lasted a few seconds. Then Flowrchild simply said, "Uh, right...Anyway, nice to meet you, Nex and Splend, but now if you'll excuse me, I have to take JACKER to his kennel."

First In Command

Ivanhoe sat in his desk and waited. And he hoped. He hoped that this time he has a perfect crew...

"Captain Ivanhoe, sir?" said the voice of his secretary (who Ivanhoe chose because she has nice eyebrows), "SF is here."

"Send him in." Ivanhoe replied.

Commander SF, SciFlicks' First In Command, FIC, entered the room.

"Captain, we have a problem."

"All ready?!" Ivanhoe cried. "The ship hasn't even took off yet, let alone recruited everybody."

"I know, sir, but," SF replied, "it's about ASci-Fi..."

Ivanhoe clenched his fists and snapped the pencil he was holding. "ASci-Fi?"

"Yes sir...we think...there may be an ASci-Fi spy on board."

Captain Ivanhoe's New First Entry

"Captain's Log. Stardate...ah fuck it. My new crew is helluva lot better than my crappy, old, useless crew. I tell ya, now when I say, "Warp speed", I actually DO get warp speed! With my old crew, I remember Officer O'Reilly kept on saying, "Uh, what's a warp?" Stupid Irishman...damn, I'm glad that I fired them all and got these new guys.

"Some of these guys are: Oogaphlub, a young lad with great ambition and works hard. In fact, I sent a report to Admiral Ramses and he loves the kid to bits. He even made him moderator of Pred-Deck.

"Speaking of Pred-Deck, that place has been filled with blood, dead bodies and, for some bizarre reason, the skeleton of Jesus Christ Himself - all of this is because of my old crew, y'know, the really violent, nasty ones (I'm not sure what Jesus has to do with it but I do know that it's their fault. I think it was His Second Coming and they must of killed him with their spamical gibberish). But guess what? Yep, that's right - it's clean and corpse-free! That Oogaphlub is sure one helluva moderator.

"There's some other great guys too: there's Nex, a strange lad but I'm looking forward to his comedy shows (he's the ship's entertainer) and also JACKER...a rather violent, slightly insane animal of a man but not the kind you'd find in Pred-Deck. On the contrary, I had a rather interesting conversation about waffles with him a few minutes ago.

"There's a rumour that there's an ASci-Fi spy onboard the ship. But even if it's true, my new, amazing crew will find him in no time!
"So many good things with this great crew - and it's only the first day! Nothing can go wrong..."


Something Goes Wrong

"INTRUDER ALERT! INTERUDER ALERT!" screamed Linksys, the ship's computer, "INTRUDER ALERT! HEY, ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING TO ME? HELLO?! INTRUDER ALAERT!"

"What is it, Linksys?" Ivanhoe cried.

"I JUST TOLD YOU! INTRUDER ALERT! INTRU -"

"Yes, but where?"

"ON THE SHIP! ON THE SHIP!"

"I gathered." Ivanhoe said, rolling his eyes. "Whereabouts?"

"BILLIARD ROOM! BILLIARD ROOM! HE HAS A WEAPON! I REPEAT, HE HAS A WEAPON!"

"What's he carrying?"

"A CANDLESTICK! A CANDLESTICK!"

"Hmmm, could it be Colonel Mustard? I'll go get my best men to check it out."

Suddenly Ivanhoe realised that he had no idea who his two best men were. Oh, there was so many to choose from...

"Iwata! SF! You two check it out!"

"Yes, Captain!" they both replied.

They both left the bridge and got into the lift to the Billiard Room. Iwata sighed.

"What's wrong?" SF asked.

"Nothing," Iwata replied, "it's just that Captain won't let me share my room with Lune. Now I don't have a bunkmate."

"Well, you know the rules," SF said simply, "same gender, same room. Having one man and one woman in the same room together is just not allowed, for obvious reasons. Even I, the First In Command, can't have a woman in my room."

"Commander SF, sir?"

"Yes, Iwata?"

"Well, you're a bisexual..."

"Your point being?"

"Well," Iwata said, "you're in a room with another man, so you could -"

"Don't go there."

"Sorry, sir."

The lift doors opened. The Billiard Room was dark and had many open air shafts. Smoke began to rise from the ground...

Iwata and SF slowly walked into the room with their radars on. The only sound in the room was their footsteps and their radars beeping...

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

"Hey - this reminds me of that movie with those aliens - in it, these guys go on a planet inhabited by aliens so they could kill the aliens and in the end, they kill all the aliens - I can't think for the life of me what it was called."

"Shut up, Iwata."

"Yes sir."

Suddenly a man fell from the air shafts. Iwata pointed his Smart Gun at him as SF picked him up. The man cried, "Please! No! Don't kill me!"

"Who are you?" Iwata demanded, shoving the gun nearer to the stranger's face.

"I, I...I don't know."

"Don't play dumb," SF snarled, "tell us who you are!"

"I can't remember...I only remember that some guys took me onboard the ship...they left me here and they went to Pred-Deck..."

"Sounds like the old Pred-Deck boys, all right." Iwata agreed.

"I'll give him a scan." SF said, ignoring Iwata's comment. He got out a pen-shaped shaped object, an Eye-Scanner, and a small, thin, red laser went down across the man's right eye. "He doesn't seem to be in our database." SF said when it finished.

"We'll have to take him to Sick Bay." Iwata replied.

"For now we'll just call you Unregistered Man." SF turned round and patted Iwata on the shoulder. "Meet your new room-mate. I'm sure you two would get along fine."

JACKER Escapes

"So are you trying to tell me," Ivanhoe asked, "that there is an unregistered man onboard this ship?"

"Yes, Captain," SF replied, "but I don't think he's the Asci-Fi spy."

"But will he cause trouble?"

"I don't know, Captain. He seems like a friendly guy to me."

Ivanhoe sighed and stared into a blank space for a while. Maybe he should inspect this unregistered man first...you'll never know if he's a spy or not.

"EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!" Linksys cried.

"Oh what now?!" Ivanhoe shrieked.

"DANGER! DANGER!"

"What?!" Ivanhoe shouted at the computer. This bloody thing's useless, he thought, we need a new computer for this ship...

"It's JACKER." the voice replied. But it wasn't Linksys' voice - it was Sith, the ship's guru. "He has escaped from his cell and is currently attacking the wing commanders of the Off-World deck."

"How do you know that?" Ivanhoe asked. This guy knows too much - is he the spy? If he is, he's not a very good one if he's giving away his plans to kill every member of the crew...

"Well, I'm the official SciFlicks guru of course," Sith replied matter-of-factly, "and I have an image of it happening on my computer screen."

"What's he doing there?!" Ivanhoe screamed. "I thought he was locked up in his cell with Flowrchild!"

"Flowrchild fell asleep, Captain. Then JACKER bent five bars of his cage, got out, crashed into the wall, made a hole, went through it and got to Off-World deck."

"How...?"

"I told you, I'm a guru," Sith replied calmly, "plus, Flowrchild rung me up and told me after she woke up."

"Right. Okay," Ivanhoe said, "I'll go send Iwata and SF agai-"

"No, Captain," Sith interrupted, "we need Flowrchild. She's the only one JACKER listens to."

"Really?" Ivanhoe asked, impressed. "So how do you know that one?"

"I'm the guru here!" Sith answered, getting impatient. "And she announced that earlier today that JACKER only listens to her."

"Right, right, I get it...now get me Petalkid!"

"Flowrchild, Captain."

"Whatever."

Splend Out, Hicks In

Meanwhile, in Nex and Splend's room, Bob enters with a pile of scripts and joke books. He saw both Nex and Splend sitting on the floor - Nex was going through big piles of paper while Splend sat there, looking depressed.

"Right," Bob said, "when you're done with your 'Nex And Splend' novel, get over here and help me with the sketch show!"

The three were going to write a bunch of sketches for Comedy Night on SciFlicks. So far, Bob has written all his stuff and as for Nex and Splend...well, they've been to busy writing "the book of the century".

"Okay," Nex said to Splend, "I've almost finished writing this up. Then I'm gonna get Puffter Books to publish it."

"Nex," Splend sighed, "I give up."

"Huh?" He's given up? Given up what? They've all ready written all the chapters...

"I. Give. Up. I don't want to be the Ship's Entertainer. I'll see you guys later," Splend said sadly as he walked towards the door, "I'm gonna get a better job. One that I'm good at and isn't hard work."

"But..." Nex began to argue - but Splend had all ready left. A better job? What?! Writing comedy is the only thing Splend's good at...

"Okay, first of all," Bob told Nex, "we need a replacement."

"How can you say that?!" Nex cried. "Splend's gone, he's not going to be working with us anymore!"

"Listen, we'll just get that over guy, wosshecalled, Hicks."

"Hicks?" Nex said, not believing his ears, "The guy who talks to lamp-posts?"

"Yeah," Bob replied, "he'll do anything to get a better job. He wants partners. A trio with that guy would be great - the Darth Bob, Nexus Six and Dwayne Hicks team!"

"We'll need a name, one better than that..."

"Hmmm," Bob pondered. "Bob, Nexus and Hicks..."

"What about Bob Nexick?" Nex suggested.

"That's it!" Bob cried, snapping his fingers, "bob - Nex - 'Ick! Bob Nexick!"

"Yeah."

"Nex, my man, we've got it made."

Splend Saves The Day

As Splend walked his depressing walk down the depressing corridor, thinking what the **** he should do with his depressing life, he came across a depressingly angry JACKER.

"Hey JACKER, "Splend said dully, "Wanna go to the pub and drink ourselves to deaths? I'm very up for it."

JACKER gave a shrug, said, "Why not?" and walked with Splend to the pub...

The Aftermath

"Well, that was rather anti-climatic," Ivanhoe said, "but still - well done, Splendiferous! We'd never thought we'd come across a person other than Flowrchild that could handle someone dangerous and mildly insane like JACKER..."

"T'was nothing." Splend shrugged. "Poor bugger just unhappy with his love life, that's all..."

"Really?" Ivanhoe gasped with a fascinated look on his face, "You seem like a professional at handling stuff like this. How'd you find out?!"

"We jus' had a chat over a pint or two." Splend shrugged again.

"Of course!" Ivanhoe exclaimed. "Get him drunk to make him spill out information! Brilliant, Splendiferous, brilliant..."

Splend shrugged a third shrug.

"So," Ivanhoe said, "does that JACKER have a special person?"

"Uh, Flowrchild. He hated himself for not asking her out and felt stupid an' all, usual crap that goes on in life...I jus' talked to 'im an' gave 'im advice...that worked."

Suddenly, Splendiferous had an idea.

"Lurve" In Space, Part I: The New Splend

As Bob, Nex and newcomer Hicks planned and wrote their sketches for Comedy Night, Splend entered the room and wowed them all - it was incredible. Not only had Splend grown a mustachio in ten minutes, but he was looking very happy.

"What...the...****?" Nex said as he saw the happy, unusual-looking Splend. "What's happened to you, Splend?

"'Splend'," he replied with a rather unusual tone in his voice, "has left the starship. The Lurve Doctah is in da house - oh yeah!"

"Lurve" In Space, Part II: The Girl

Nex walked down the corridor, thinking.

Thinking about Splend. What the hell is wrong with him? He tried asking him but he wouldn't answer properly - something about "getting a new job after givin' ol' JACK-boy some advice about women - oh yeah!"

Splend, a Lurve Doctah? But...how? Why? Splend admitted that he was hopeless with women and his love-life was as real as the Tooth Fairy. Now he's got a job as a guy who gives people advice on chatting up women and getting in their pants? It all seemed so bizarre.

One thing's for sure though: Nex could never fall in love with someone on this ship: it's filled with a bunch of weirdos.

A nanosecond after Nex thought those last 23 words, Nex fell in love.

She was a beautiful girl fixing the waffle machine...and wow, did this girl have some hot waffles cookin'!

Nex faked a cough. The girl got out from under the waffle machine and said, "Oh, hi."

Oh wow. Oh wow wow. That does it. Oh God - he really is in love. He didn't see her face before. In fact, the thing he fell in love with was her curvy bottom...

"Wurgh, wurgh, urgh..." Nex mumbled with his mouth full of saliva.

"Yes?" she asked.

Oh God, that voice, that sexy voice. Who is she?

"Uh..." Think of something, Nex! Think of the first thing that comes in your head! "I'm Nex!" he managed to say. Well, that's a start...

"Hi," the beautiful girl replied, "I'm Coronis. Erm, see you later..."

She got out from the bottom of the fixed waffle machine and walked back down the corridor, her beauty with her.

"Lurve" In Space, Part II: The Doctah Is In

"Er, Splend?"

"Yes, Nex?" Splend replied.

"I'm in love." Nex said with his head facing the ground.

Splend sat down behind his desk, leaned back in his chair and said, "Go on."

Chatting Coronis Up

Nex started to sweat. He rubbed his head and wiped his wet, sweaty hands on his trousers. This is going to be difficult...

"Don't wipe da sweat on ya trousers," Splend warned, "it ain't sexy."

"Okay, okay...There she is!" Nex cried.

"Go on," Splend said with a wink, "go chat her up. Oh yeah!"

Nex slowly walked up to Coronis, who, once again, was fixing a waffle machine. Take your time, Nex, take your time...

But before he could get any nearer, Captain Ivanhoe's voice screeched out of the nearby speaker, "Will Nexus, Splendiferous, Unregistered Man and Iwata please come to the bridge. I repeat, will Nexus, Splendiferous, Unregistered Man and Iwata please come to the bridge. Oh, and, uh, Splendiferous, thanks for the advice on chatting up that girl on C-Deck."

As Nex sighed and took the lift up to the bridge, Splend patted Nex's shoulder and said, "You did your best, Nex."

A Spy On SciFlicks

"Gentleman," Ivanhoe began, "you may of heard a rumour that there is an Asci-Fi spy onboard this ship. Well, it's true. We have checked IntrudSearch in the Computer Room and Linksys confirmed that there is at least one person here who shouldn't be on this ship. This person is in the Trek-Deck. You may pick a partner or recruit more people on this mission if you wish."

Partners

"Well," Iwata said to Nex and Splend behind Unregistered Man's back, "I'm not going with him. Annoying bastard. I wouldn't be surprised if he's a spy."

"You can go with me if you want," Splend suggested, "Nex is going to get Coronis to be his partner."

Nex kicked Splend's leg and mouthed a, "What?!"

"Hmmm, I'll go with Lune." Iwata decided.

As Iwata went to go find Lune, Nex whispered to Splend, "What do you mean Coronis is going to be my partner?! How do I talk to her?!"

"Easy," Splend hinted, "you open your mouth and say what you think. You'll soon get the hang of it."

Nex stormed into the lift and hoped - and, at the same time, didn't hope - that she'd still be there.

She's There

"Hey, Coronis..."

"Oh, hi!" she said cheerfully. "how are you, Nex?"

"Do you want to be my partner in a mission to find an intruder on Trek-Deck?"

"Sure."

That was easy, Nex thought.

Something Fishy's Going On...

Unregistered Man entered Trek-Deck's HoloRoom, a perfect hiding place for a spy, with his partner, Oogaphlub. Nex heard that Phlub is the captain's Pet. He was a nice guy...can get too obsessive with Arnold Schwarzenegger, though. Nex wondered why he picked him...

A few minutes later, Phlub came out of Trek-Deck. "is it safe?" we asked.

"He sent me out!" Phlub cried. "He said he had to do it on his own! What's he talking about?!"

"Oh God," Iwata moaned, "I don't understand that guy at all. He's annoying as hell too."

"You got that right!" Phlub shouted in rage. "He practically insulted me in there! He called me an Predator ****er!"

"A what?" Coronis asked, confused.

Phlub's face went red. He gazed at his shoes and said, "Uh, I dunno what he's talking about..."

This is wrong, they all realised. Who does Unregistered Man think he is? Why does he act like this? Something fishy is going on, they all smell a rat...and rats and fishes don't mix.

"That's it!" Coronis cried. "I'm going in there myself, through the backdoor. I'll be back."

Phlub bit his tongue and started laughing to himself. They all looked at him with confused looks on their faces.

"Heh," Phlub explained, "she said 'I'll be back'...heheh."

Coronis shrugged, started to walk round the corner of the HoloRoom and ran away.

The Spy

It's been ten minutes since Coronis left Nex, Splend, Phlub, Iwata and Lune. What's going on in there? Iwata and Lune were confused. Phlub thinks that Unregistered Man killed her. Splend thinks that the two are snogging each other. And Nex...he was just worried. Soon it was Nex that decided that he should check it out.

"No, we'll come with." The others replied. So they did...

HoloRoom was big, very big. For some reason someone set the room to be a hologramatic warehouse. Phlub said that it wasn't like this before. Something is going on...

In the distance, they could make out two people on the floor and someone in a chair. The squad ran up to them and gasped. Well, nearly everyone. Iwata just cried out, "Yes!" and punched the air with his fist: Unregistered Man is dead!

"Coronis!" Nex cried. She was on the floor...but she was alive.

"I sneaked in," she said, "he shot me in the leg...I think he was aiming for my stomach though."

In the chair was someone they had never seen before - but she was wearing an Asci-Fi uniform. Iwata checked her badge - she was called Summoned Possum. She's dead.

"Well, Unregistered Man sure took care of the spy," Iwata observed, "but what happened to him?"

Splend gasped. "Nex, look!" he cried.

Splend had found a CD in a CD player that was by Unregistered Man's body - "Stuck In The Middle With You".

"Oh my Satan!" Nex cried. "Iwata, check if the body has only one ear!"

Who's The Real Spy?

"Enter."

Iwata entered the Captain's Office and saw a very grim, disappointed face staring right in front of him. This is the first time Iwata has seen him look so angry. Iwata nervously sat down in the seat in front of Ivanhoe's desk.

"Yes Captain?"

"Iwata," Ivanhoe said after he took a deep breath, "we got the wrong man."

"Y'mean wrong woman, sir?" Iwata asked, remembering that the one-eared Summoned Possum was a girl.

"No, the wrong man." Ivanhoe corrected him. "It was a mask, Iwata, he was wearing a mask!"

Iwata was surprised. "Was he? But...the outfit..."

"There are two spies on this ship," Ivanhoe explained, "or three. Maybe more. But as far as we know, there's more than one."

"I don't understand, sir." Iwata said with a sad and confused face like a child who's been told that he's not allowed to read pornographic magazines anymore.

"The girl, Summoned Possum, was a spy. But someone had murdered her and took off all of her skin. The man, who you and your team found, was wearing Possum's face."

"It must be Unregistered Man!" Iwata cried. "I never liked him from the start. He must of took the skin from the girl and put it on the guy he was torturing to make it look like he captured the spy!"

Ivanhoe shook his head. "Iwata, you know so much, yet so little. What would be the point in killing the spy and putting her skin on someone else's face? His mission was to catch the spy, which you think he did, so why didn't he bring her to us instead of taking off her skin and putting it all on someone else's?"

"Wait, wait...who was the man that was wearing the skin?"

Ivanhoe looked down on his desk and stared at his pencil. He started to fiddle with it before he answered. He looked like he didn't want to say the answer...

"Captain...?"

Ivanhoe looked up with a heart-broken, vacant face and replied, "Oogaphlub."

Two Phlubs

"Phlub?!" Iwata cried as he nearly fell out of his seat. Ivanhoe just nodded. "But...but it can't be! He was with us as Unregistered Man found the spy!"

"He what?!" This time Ivanhoe nearly fell out of his seat. He was both angry and confused.

"Yeah! In fact, when we found Summoned Possum's body, he was standing right next to me!"

"You never told me this!"

"Did I need to?" Iwata asked rhetorically in a shrieking voice. "I mean, didn't you see him come back with us?"

"No! No, I didn't see him!" Ivanhoe shouted. He leaped out of his seat and started walking round in circles as he spoke. "He vanished! After you and the rest of the team left after you brought the body, me and Splendiferous were talking...about...something."

"Go on."

"I asked Splend, 'where did Phlub go?' and he said, 'Yeah, I noticed that he didn't come back with us'! Didn't you notice that?! Are you telling me you never noticed that Phlub was gone?! Tell me where he went!" Ivanhoe screamed. He grabbed Iwata by the shirt collar.

"I dunno, I dunno!" Iwata cried. Then he realised what Ivanhoe was thinking - but how could he think that? "I'm not the spy. I swear on my life, I didn't even notice Phlub was gone...we...we were too busy thinking about the body..."

Ivanhoe slowly let go of Iwata's collar. "So...you don't remember seeing him after you delivered the body...?"

"No. In fact, yeah, I don't think he was with us at all - I think he disappeared just as we started to put the body on the hospital bed..."

"Well, we'll have to go find him!" Ivanhoe declared. "He must be the spy, or the second spy! And he couldn't of done this on his own, their must be someone else. Do you remember anyone else suddenly vanishing after the body was delivered, or -?"

"Only Phlub, I think...Nex and Coronis were definitely there all the time, I remember them chatting to each other throughout the mission...and Splen -"

"Wait, who?"

"Nex and Coronis." Iwata repeated.

Ivanhoe stood in the middle of his office for a moment, the only sound that could be heard was the clock ticking and some couple next door making lots of dirty and interesting noises in bed. Finally, Ivanhoe spoke.

"Who the ****'s Coronis?"

The Real Spy

Nex and Coronis walked down the corridor together, hand in hand. They were having such a great time...a fantastic time, maybe also a brilliant time. A grefantilliant time.

"I'm glad we caught the spy." Nex told her. "So what happened with Unregistered Man?"

"He just went psycho," Coronis explained, "and he..."

"I'm sorry but there is one more spy onboard," Ivanhoe interrupted behind them. Nex and Coronis turned round to see Captain Ivanhoe, Iwata and SF. "And we finally know who it is."

SF and Iwata grabbed Coronis and put handcuffs on her. What the hell?!

"What the **** are you doing?!" Nex cried. He tried to stop Iwata and SF but they pushed him into the ground. "Huh?!"

Coronis started to cry. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Nexy, I -"

"Nexy?!" Ivanhoe exclaimed. "What the hell's been goin' on 'ere?! SF, Iwata! Arrest Nexus at once!"

Angry Ivanhoe

"But sir," Iwata said weakly, "He hasn't done anythi-"

"I don't give a ****!" Ivanhoe shouted in a very un-Captain way. "Arrest the bastard!"

"Captain, sir," SF said in a shocked voice, "What are yo -"

"You shut the hell up, you!" Ivanhoe's face was as red as a fannyrash. "Ooh, here we have Mr. First In Command, he thinks he's soo clever! Arrest the little ****in' ****!"

Soon lots of different Squad pilots began to crowd round them. SF had no idea what to do. He slowly put handcuffs on Nex, who was struggling violently. This isn't right...

"Let go of me!" Nex shouted. But he couldn't break free.

"You did your best, Nex." Splend said.

"Shut up!" was Nex's reply. Splend shrugged - he may of been rude but he's not going to let him get put away.

"Captain," Splend said bravely, "Don't put Nex away. Put me away instead. Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with sugar on top?"

"No."

"Pretty please with sugar and a rather wet Aly Hannigan in a bikini on top?"

There was a slight pause as Ivanhoe thought about this. Then..."No."

"Aw, you're mean!" Splend said stupidly.

"Yes, I am," Ivanhoe said with an evil smile. "That's why you're getting arrested too! SF, cuff 'im!"

"Oh, come on!" Splend begged. "I'm the Lurve Doctah!"

"Do it."

SF stared with a sad face at Splend, then back at Ivanhoe. "Do it now." Ivanhoe said as he clenched his fists. "That's an order." SF still didn't do it. What's wrong with the Captain? He's gone crazy...

"Captain, I..."

"Right, SF! You obviously want to go with them! Iwata, cuff him too! You'll be the new FIC!"

Iwata just stood there, confused.

"I'm surrounded by ****in' retards!" Ivanhoe cursed. "Come on!"

That was when Iwata shot the Captain.

The Captured Spy

Ivanhoe will live, but SF put him in a cell...SF is now the captain...but he has no idea what to do...Nex can't force SF to get Coronis out of prison...everyone is worried, confused and scared...

Tonight it'll get worse.

Oh. Tonight's now. Well, we better go straight into the horror then. Okay, here goes...

Summoned Possum is alive.

In fact, she never was dead. Her clone was. Possum has been secretly hiding in a very special place...and now she was free. Free to...murder.

Possum crept silently down the dark corridor of the ship. SF is going to be her victim - then the ship will have no captain. She had no weapon, only her tongue. Possum, unfortunately, is a girl who think she's a male Elf. All she would have to do is say some Elvish and spamical gibberish and SF would be dead before you can say, "Oh dear, it looks like Captain SF is dead."

She opened the door to the bedroom...

Now!

But before she could do anything, someone leapt up onto her from behind and shoved her face into the ground. Then someone else came and handcuffed her.

"Let me go, poopyheads!" she cried in Elvish.

The lights went on. Possum looked up - Sith, pipe in mouth, slowly walked up to her and smiled. "It seems that we have finally caught the spy," he said to SF, who had just got off Possum's back. Iwata got up from beside her hands and pointed his gun at her.

"What's going on?!" Possum demanded, again in Elvish.

"What the hell did she just say?" Iwata asked Sith, space detective and Guru.

"She asked us what's going on," Sith replied, "and I believe that you too, Iwata, and SF, would also like to hear the story."

SF and Iwata nodded. Suddenly Nex leapt into the room with a water pistol and cried, "Freeze, Asci-Fi *****!"

He looked down and noticed that she was on the floor. Splend came in and shook his head. He patted Nex's shoulder. "You did your best, Nex."

"Iwata," Sith ordered, "go release Captain Ivanhoe from his cell. I'm sure he'd like to know what's been going on too."

"Not so fast!" SF cried. "Excuse me, I'm the captain...for now..."

Sith nodded his, "But of course."

SF coughed and ordered to Iwata, "Iwata, go release Captain Ivanhoe from his cell. I'm sure he'd like to know what's been going on too."

Iwata nodded and left the room, thinking to himself that in just a few minutes, everything will be explained...

Everything Is Explained

Iwata picked up a weak, shagged-out Ivanhoe who was lying unconscious on the floor. Then he slapped him.

"Ow!" Ivanhoe cried as he quickly woke up back to reality. "What an odd dream...you were there, and Nexus was there, and..."

"No time for Wizard Of Oz talk, get up and go to the bridge."

"Oh." Ivanhoe said simply. "Where am I again?"

"In a prison cell."

"Oh. I'm confused..."

"So am I," Iwata admitted, "but don't worry, Captain...everything's going to be okay. Promise. Now get your arse over at the bridge."

They both got up and walked to the bridge. Ivanhoe looked down at Possum, who was still on the floor, with a confused look on his face. Possum only replied with an evil, spamical glare.

"You!" Possum cried. "I could of gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling SciFlickers! And man, what is with the spotty underwear?"

"Whu...how do you know about those?!" Ivanhoe demanded. "Is this the spy? Jesus Christ, I've been spied on by perverted girl with a 'I Speak Elvish' t-shirt!"

"She wasn't spying on you," Sith said. "She possessed you."

"Eh?" everyone asked.

"Young Possum, here, is a Possessor. A spamical demon that has the ability to possess anyone and anything. Unfortunately, we didn't have an old priest and a young priest, which was why it took us so long to capture her."

"Wait," Ivanhoe said. "It took so long? How long did you know about this?"

"Since it possessed your body. I knew because I, of course, am a Guru. Plus, the Coke machine on Tron-deck told me."

"Bloody Coke machine," Possum cursed, "He saw the whole thing, the poopy-head...he told me that he wouldn't tell anyone!"

"What about Unregistered Man?" Iwata asked.

"He, also, was a spy."

"I knew it!"

"So there was two spies?" Nex asked.

"Uh, no!" Splend said sarcastically. "There was three! Yes, of course there was, you dumb, lonely...person."

"Actually, there was a third spy." Sith said as he blew a smoke ring from his pipe. "Coronis."

"Ha!" Nex laughed, waving his finger at Splend. "Er, no, wait...Coronis?!"

"Well, she was an ASciFi member," Sith explained as he got tired of explaining things. "She just got sick of the spamical crew and sneaked onboard here."

"Haha!" Splend laughed. "But how do you know?"

"I'm a Guru! Plus, I read her diary."

"Why were you reading her diary?" Nex demanded. "No one reads through her diary but me! And Coronis, of course, but she doesn't do it to find out if there's any sexy secrets about me."

"To make myself look clever by knowing things that only she knows." Sith replied matter-of-factly.

"Ah..."

"Is this over yet? I'm hungry." Ivanhoe said impatiently.

"Nearly. Anyway, you're probably thinking to yourselves...'What happened in the HoloRoom and how come Possum is alive?'"

"Not me," Ivanhoe yawned. "I was thinking to myself, I wonder if there's a KFC nearby?'"

"Right. Well, Unregistered Man, being Unregistered Man, wanted to look big and important by completing his mission. So he goes to the HoloRoom to go see Possum - which is where she's been hiding in for the last few days - and kills her. He's probably going to say that we did it and he couldn't stop us in time. So he's killing two birds with one stone - he's going to make himself look clever on SciFlicks by killing the spy; and he's going to make himself look clever on ASciFi by completing his mission."

"But he's only killed one bird." Nex corrected Sith.

"Pardon?"

"Possum is only one bird. What was his mission? To kill a SciFlicks bird?"

"Shut up, Nex. Anyway, Possum, being a Possessor, not only being able to possess people's bodies but also stopping her heart from beating for three hours. After three hours, she brought herself back to life and decided to possess Captain Ivanhoe and -"

"Wait, hang on," Nex interrupted. "How can she bring herself back to life if she's all ready dead?"

"Nex, be quiet. Anywa -"

"You don't know, do you?"

Sith ignored him. "Possum in Ivanhoe's body convinces Iwata that someone was wearing Possum's skin -"

"Why?" Nex asked as everybody angrily sighed.

"Just a red herring to make the plot more confusing!" Sith shouted. "Right...I believe you know the rest of the story."

"No, how di -" SF began to say before he was interrupted.

"Quiet, Nex."

"I'm not Nex. I'm SF."

"Oh. Sorry." Sith apologised. "Carry on."

"How did Possum escape?"

"There was a clone of Possum onboard with her. This clone was the Possum I was talking about the whole time."

"You could of told us that. Are you making this up?"

"Sith?" Nex asked at the same time.

"What, WHAT?!" Sith shrieked.

"Possum's gone. She must of ran away wile you were explaining what was going on."

"Ah bugger!!!"

Ivanhoe's Last Entry

[i]"Captain's Log. Starda - ah fu[/]ck it, I don't even know where I am anymore. My body has been possessed by an ASciFi spy for the last couple of days. Maybe more. Who knows?

"Anyway, we caught her but she got away. Linksys says that she is no longer onboard. But I don't trust that computer - he's fired. We're getting a new, supercomputer...Shallow Thought!

"It's been an okay week. Month. Whatever. Well, when I wasn't possessed, it was good. This crew has been proved worthy and, yes, it's the best damn crew a guy can ever have.

"Sith is giving the Guru stuff a rest for a while, it was really stressing him out. I guess it ain't easy being the smartest guy on the ship and you're surrounded by idiots. I know what it's like, I was that smart guy with my last crew!

"Splend has also given his job a rest. Forever, in fact. He quit being the Lurve Doctah and is now spending more time with Nex. Unfortunately, this got in the way of Nex's work with Bob.

"But Nex is happy. He hasn't been working much anyway since we now have Coronis and all (who has joined the crew).

"Before Possum left (well, we assume she has), she, er, wrecked the ship a little. She destroyed almost everything and did graffiti all over the walls - "Possum 4 Legolas 4 Eva" and sh
it like that.

"Cargo also destroyed. I should reach the frontier in about 6 weeks. With a little luck, the network will pick me up. This is Ivanhoe, proud captain of SciFlicks, signing off."


THE END

Last edited by Nexus : Oct 8, 2003 at 05:25 PM.
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Old Aug 26, 2003, 06:02 AM   #99
ThinWLady
Mrs. Tony Harrison
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1,295 flights since Feb 2002
Location: Swinging Organ
Re: Fan/Original Fiction

Oh, Nex... You don't know how happy you made with that. I've been missing those SQUAD! stories. More! More! More!

(What kind of a SQUAD! tale would be written by Autechre? That would be interesting to see... )
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Old Aug 30, 2003, 09:00 PM   #100
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
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3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Fan/Original Fiction

Nex ... this new fanfic of yours beats anything you've written so far You have a true god-given talent for inducing laughter here, use it wisely

But what's with giving me a mustachio?!
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Old Aug 31, 2003, 06:18 AM   #101
Nexus
Psycho Teddy Sausage
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3,648 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Seraph's pocket
Re: Fan/Original Fiction

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Old Sep 1, 2003, 04:23 AM   #102
ThinWLady
Mrs. Tony Harrison
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1,295 flights since Feb 2002
Location: Swinging Organ
Re: Fan/Original Fiction

Before we'll get more fantastic SQUAD! stuff made by Nex *hails the guy*, I'll add here a less funny story... You can call it horror if you want.

A Cellar Person

I was walking on a street, early in the morning. The smell of cold and my own temperature met on my skin and made me feel feverish. Oh, if I just could have a cup of warm mushroom soup right now, I thought. I stopped and looked at windows. Thousands of mirrors were greeting the sun and their neighbours on the other side of the street. I met my figure in one of those.

I do like myself. I would look prettier with dark hair, swept like this on the other side of my head. My lips are sweet until the day makes them look like a desert. My eyes are big and blue, just like all the pretty princess’ eyes... But they have their own life under my hair. A nasty one. Since they are always too busy looking for a nice ass or a better future, I’ve failed more than once in my life. Now they have dark veils. It takes almost fifteen minutes to hide that fact every morning. How long it will take when I’m 65?

I won’t talk about my nose. A wet breeze moved lazily my hair. My eyes wandered downwards on the figure. I sighed.

I liked a lot of a girl with big boobs. She was on a same class with me once. I was afraid to see her and when she turned her back at me, I always dreamed about her. She has a child now. I wonder if she still drinks for the old days. She had lovely hair. I would like to have something like that.

I have my very own gestures. It took a lot of time to learn them. Before that I had no moving parts. Just a mess. I think I was weird ‘till I reached 16. Then I got even worse. I say so although I’m very proud of myself. I’m proud of all that sh|it. No matter, how much you would hate me. No matter, how arrogant you are. No matter, how little you care. I cry for myself in my little pity hole. In this cave you shall not enter. Not until you’ve cut your nails. Not until you’ve been so kind that it makes me cry a little more. Not until you’ve made yourself important to me and learnt to love silently all that is mine.

I looked away. I was shivering a bit. Was I getting diva again? Maybe. Something left me. It took awhile before I noticed what it was. It was me. I felt unnatural without it. Why she always have to leave me so sudden? I took a step. Sometimes she walks away in a middle of a conversation. She has no heart at all. When she wants to be admired, she borrows mine.

Taking steps wasn’t easy. Sometimes it takes a long time before I can make it look normal again. And then she’s back.
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Old Sep 30, 2003, 04:39 AM   #103
ThinWLady
Mrs. Tony Harrison
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1,295 flights since Feb 2002
Location: Swinging Organ
Re: Fan/Original Fiction

I know you just love these little stories that I write. (Ha-ha…)

Nobody Flirts

She met him again. She was walking nicely in her thoughts when he suddenly stepped on her way. Behind the corner. Their naked eyes met. She held her breath a second. That was the only time when she thought something else but her schedule. “Take me here and now”, was the only thing in her head for that time. What a silly thought. In the middle of all these people, under these dull eyes.

He has no wife. She left him. He scratches his balls in the middle of a lesson looking like he wouldn’t know. That we know. He’s small. He has passionate eyes. He talks fast. He likes sports. He is fanatic. He is fanatic to everything that fascinates him. Programming. He has three screens on his desk. He’s small.

She has no guy. She doesn’t want any. She blows her nose sounding like a horn. That we know. She’s quite tall. She has dreamy eyes. She talks slow. She likes books. She is shy. She is shy to everything that fascinates her. Bouncing. She has two pairs of shoes at her home. She’s quite tall.

They walked away. Both of them to a different direction. She felt good inside her clothes. He started to talk to his colleague about sports.
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 07:08 AM   #104
ThinWLady
Mrs. Tony Harrison
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1,295 flights since Feb 2002
Location: Swinging Organ
Let's see how many times you'll read this...

“Oh, by the way”, she said and continued almost instantly: “I don’t want a brainy guy. I need only a crash test dummy.”

I think I’m paralysed. I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here. Gazing the corner of my screen. And silvery objects and a bundle of wires which are half-hidden behind it. Once or twice I’ve been looking at my clock without seeing the time.

It’s half past ten now. p.m. - as you foreigners say. Or some of you. Damned - this life. I’m shivering. This is outrageous. No one would tell what all this is about. Like I would have cold hands on my shoulders. And they’ll keep moving towards my spine. Again and again. I kind of like it.

What am I doing?! I’ll cut the circle. The player stops. It’s all silent now. I can still feel the hands. I squeeze my brains and greet the gravity. “Yes”, I hear my voice saying in my mind. “Only real stars have a bubbling voice. Only real stars can play that well. I myself have no musical talent at all, but I can say that couldn’t be just a regular guy.” I don’t believe. I don’t believe it was really him. At all.

People with a fizzy voice. They are rare. I wouldn’t like to meet any of them. Not that I wouldn’t really. If it happens, I’ll be numb. Numb for my life. Numb for everything that’s around me. I’m not going to pay for that feeling. That’s why I won’t see real stars neither.

I’ll push the button again. Maybe it’s some funny trick. I don’t know how he is doing it. But I’m liking it. Wobbly sounds. I love his “os” and “es” and long “as”. The way he picks up the notes. I... Better not say more. Since I’m on a ground that’s not so familiar to me. I’ll take a book and read empty words.

The clock is one a.m. I don’t know what the book was about. I’m staring at a dusty spot on my desk. The song is going on. Oh, how stupid I can be... I’ll begin a story which has only one good thing in it. The title. The rest of it is as dead as “Blasko White 1931”. Damn good stuff, especially if you like more white than red (...nonsense, I know)... I think you’ve lost my tracks now. Go back on the top of this post and you’ll see what I’ve been writing.
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 07:31 AM   #105
Iwata
Autarch
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2,558 flights since Aug 2001
Location: Helghan
Re: Fan/Original Fiction

This is nice.

I hadn't set foot in this thread in months.

Nex, that story of yours is very cool indeed. Looks like you were on a roll when you wrote it. Now you owe it to us to show how it all wraps up.

TWL, you never cease to amaze me. First the strips, now these little novelletes...
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An Inquiry Into "Science Fiction" and its Incidents
I think this is a subject that comes up quite a bit in Sciflicks, and is very much hinged on subjective thoughts. Nevertheless, I think that it...
25
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NEWS: Colonial Newsletter - 07/20/2004
======================================== The Colonial Newsletter Volume 5 Issue 6 & 7 June & July 2004 Published by: BattlestarGalacticaClub.com
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Doing Fan Fiction
I have ideas for a Demolition Man saga. There could be one book that has the tales on the main character John Spartan himself and the cop named Dana...
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The best sci fi movies and sci fi fan fiction
I love Demolition Man and Star Wars. Star Wars had a saga to it. There was supposed to be 9 Star Wars movies. There is only going to be 6. I think...
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