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Old Oct 3, 2003, 02:11 PM   #31
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
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3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

<<Splend shrugs Nex off and sighs as Nex starts yelling at him>>

Nex : This whole mess is your fault, you know, we shoved you out of that airlock and you had the nerve, the sheer bloody nerve to come back, you oughta be ashamed of yourself, you freak, you degenerate, you blah blah blah blah blah ...

<<Splend had heard it all before. All the accusations. All the lies. The malfunction of the ships' Anti-Spam Drive was nothing to do with him - he'd been framed. If only Kiergarion were here, he'd be able to tell people - when the Drive exploded, he was right there, he saw the sabateur ... but Kiergarion was gone. Suddenly a free floating spirit flew into the room at top speed, and slammed into the ship's cat, which shot out of it's place from under Nex's bunk>>

Cat : I'm not a dot anymore! I'm not a dot, this is great, this is - <<looks around>> I'm a cat? I'm a friggin' cat?! Oh, man - I'm allergic to cats!
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Old Oct 3, 2003, 03:55 PM   #32
Kieraganion
Sector Marshall
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782 flights since Oct 2002
Location: F city, F Prefecture (ACROSS Basement).
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Kieraganion, in a fit of bad sneezes, attemps to tell Nex it wasn't Splend's fault. But the sneezes are to powerfull and there is just to many of them.
"The sabatuer
*Achoo!*
The Sa-
*Achoo!*
The Sab-
*Achoo!*
The Sabat-
*Achoo!*
I got it, I remember!" *A light flutters to life above his head as Splend turns on the ceiling light* "There is a big black Domi-
*Achoo!*
Dom-
*Achoo!*
Domino fille-
*Achoo!*
Fill-*
Achoo!*
Filled wi-
*Achoo!*
With purple Ha-
*Achoo!*
Hamste-
*Achoo!*
Hamters! they a-
*Achoo!*
Are the-
*Achoo!*
Are the ones wh-
*Achoo*
Who Saba-
*Achoo!*
Sab-
*Achoo!*
The Spa-
*Achoo!*
Spam Dr-
*Achoo!*
Drive!"
*Achoo!*
They are-
*Achoo!*
Are also th-
*Achoo!*
The ones th-
*Achoo!*
That drope-
*Achoo!*
Droped the Pian-
*Achoo!*
Piano o-
*Achoo!*
On TWL!

*Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!*

He finally over exhausted himself and ploped to the ground unconscious. By doing so he was not able to tell them 'The Empending Doom Plan' the Hamsters had concocted.

Last edited by Kieraganion : Oct 3, 2003 at 04:07 PM.
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Old Oct 4, 2003, 12:58 AM   #33
Tack
Spawn of Nurgle
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1,492 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Portland, Oregon.
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Talk walks in his room only to find Nex, Splend, and a cat there.

Tack: What the hell are guys doing my my room!? You aren't even my roommates.

Nex: we were uh...

Splend: I was walking and I uhh...

Cat: I was just trying to explain to Nex about how it wasnt Splend who destroyed the engines.

Tack: Holy **** a talking cat.

Cat: figures.
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Old Oct 6, 2003, 09:38 AM   #34
Darth Bob
The Eld
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1,279 flights since Sep 2002
Location: The Dark Tower
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

*Meanwhile bob having solved his moral dilema by hitting Iwata until he got a recognisable answer, is in the ships on-board brewery drinking *

Bob: I am the beer Samuri, ..... hehehe... yep... good ol beer... .... Hmm it seems a little weak a wonder what this stuff's called.... W...A...T..E...R..... water? never heard of this before, but it's good ****.


*fills a small cantineer with water, and then leaves, and heads towards the ships bridge,*
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Old Oct 6, 2003, 01:27 PM   #35
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
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3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Nex : did he just say something about a giant domino filled with purple hamsters?

Splend : I thought he said something about a giant donut filled with purple ham-sauce?

Nex : A giant donut? We must find this giant donut that our ship's cat says sabotaged the Spam Drive ... and ... eat it.

<<Pause>>

Splend : You're mad.

<<Pause>>

Nex : Yeah, you're right.

<<He starts throttling Splend again, as Tack tries to wrestle him off and kick them out of his room>>
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Old Oct 6, 2003, 01:40 PM   #36
Nexus
Psycho Teddy Sausage
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3,648 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Seraph's pocket
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Nex:
Ah sod this, I'm going back to bed.

*Nex climbs into bed. Splend sighs.*

Splend:
That's all you ever do! Sleep, sleep, sleep. You don't do anything anymore, your whole life is a complete dreamworld now, nothing but a big sleep.

Nex:
Well, I happen to like my big sleeps. That's the only decent thing to do now that...she's died.

Splend:
Look, I know you're depressed about Coronis and all, but...but...er...get over it!

Nex:
You're not very good at cheering me up, are you?

Splend:
No, I wasn't trying to...I know! Don't you remember - Iron Maiden are gonna go on their space tour! Don't you wanna see them live at the Mars Arena?

Nex:
I just don't care anymore.

*Splend quickly leaves the room so Nex doesn't see him crying. Splend slams the door.*

Nex:
Ah...now for some sleep.

*Nex dreams of himself in a temple. He's dressed like Indiana Jones. He slowly enters the temple...there he sees the Golden Waffle Of Life, sitting there, waiting to picked up.
*Nex slowly, cautiously sneaks up to the idol. He gets out a bag of muffins and quickly replaces the idol with it. Suddenly the room starts to shake. Nex jumps off the stairs and runs off down an endless maze of a corridor.
*Suddenly a giant Donut Boulder drops in from the celing and starts to chase after Nex. Nex stops in his tracks.*

Nex:
Mmm...donuts...

*Nex opens his mouth wide to eat it, but suddenly gets squashed by the Donut.*

Nex:
Ow. Dreams are painful.
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Old Oct 7, 2003, 03:03 AM   #37
ThinWLady
Mrs. Tony Harrison
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1,295 flights since Feb 2002
Location: Swinging Organ
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

While The One...... is dragging TWL out from the pieces of something that was once a nice grand piano, TWL starts to sparkle.

The One......: Stop that or I'll slap you! This is hard enough without that weirdo stuff!

TWL: (still in sleep) Mmmm...more... Touch me...

The One......: Oh, don't even try!

Suddenly: a flash. A couple minutes later The One wakes up from the other side of the room. Her head is fuzzy but not for long. She sees no TWL but The Amazing Piano-Woman! Soon she realises it's mutated TWL. The One...... stares baffled at her roommate, who is all black and white now. The Amazing Piano-Woman turns to her and plays an evil sonata with her shiny teeth.

TAPW: Ha-haa! There's some Schubert for you! Cheeri-o, old friend!

And so she runs to the corridor abusing Beethoven on her way.

The One......: My God, stop her!
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Old Oct 7, 2003, 05:08 AM   #38
Iwata
Autarch
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2,558 flights since Aug 2001
Location: Helghan
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Iwata: "Stop her yourself, lemmee alone... bunch o' weirdos..."
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Old Oct 7, 2003, 05:14 AM   #39
Darth Bob
The Eld
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1,279 flights since Sep 2002
Location: The Dark Tower
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

*Bob bursts in*

Bob: aha time to do heroic things!

*raises the cardboard tube herocily above his head*

Bob: by the power of Kevin smith!

* mystical lightning and other cool special effects, it changes Darth bob to Silent Bob*

Bob: *Glances at The one... Silent Bob runs out*

Last edited by Darth Bob : Oct 7, 2003 at 05:19 AM.
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Old Oct 7, 2003, 03:47 PM   #40
Kieraganion
Sector Marshall
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782 flights since Oct 2002
Location: F city, F Prefecture (ACROSS Basement).
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Finaly regaining consciousness, and no longer sneezing due to a stuffed nose, looks over to see that Nex is asleep with his mouth wide open, chewing on some imaginary doughnut. Kieraganion shakes his head in bewilderment. Seeing the Splend is no where around, he decides to go and see what's in the Messes' kitchen, before tackling the Doom Plan. Completely ignoring the sleeping Iwata and the perplexed One, he heads through the door only to realize he had stumbled onto the bridge instead. Dodging a cardboard blow intendned for him he looks up to see a drunk Bob.

"Whash you tink you doen yoou stupeed cat? Tryings to stealsh my, my booooz arnt I! I mean you!" Dow bown to Bob the Silent!. I mean, I mean Silenth Bob!"

kieraganion looks and sees that the booz is infact water. Shaking his head he hops on top of the control panel and tries to get the lasers to target the Domino. So completely obsorbed in his task, he fails to see the swing of the cardboard blade heading right for his head.....
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 03:38 AM   #41
Darth Bob
The Eld
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1,279 flights since Sep 2002
Location: The Dark Tower
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

*stares at Kieraganion, from across, the room, the poor guy seem's to be hallucinating, then Silent Bob makes a quick exit, to hunt down and stop the ruination of the classic's by the The Amazing Piano-Woman!,
But first Silent Bob, will need some help, He Run's towards Nex's quater's, Silent bob Run's into Splend*

Splend: hey watch it you! *

Bob: *apologetic look*

Splend: Bob? you look sorta differnt

Bob: *Nod*
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 12:37 PM   #42
Nexus
Psycho Teddy Sausage
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3,648 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Seraph's pocket
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

*Cut to: Nex's dream.
*Nex enters the Village of Donuts.*

Nex:
All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up! Gimme all yer donuts!

Old Dude:
The deadites stole all the donuts and, unfortunately, the Book of the Donut. Without it, we're powerless.

*Pause.*

Old Dude:
We're really powerless without it...

*Another pause. Old Dude winks at Nex.*

Nex:
What?

*Old Dude sighs and slaps his head.*

Old Dude:
Go on a quest to find the Book of the Donut!

Nex:
Oh, why didn't you say?

Old Dude:
Never mind...here is a shotgun and chainsaw to help you if you come across any deadites.*

Nex:
Groovy!
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 07:38 PM   #43
The one......
Sector Marshall
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600 flights since Dec 2002
Location: inside my mind-wanna join me?
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

The One, who is still sat next to Iwata on the floor, shakes her head in amazement of all the people running past in mad fashions

ONE: I am losing my f*cking mind
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Old Oct 9, 2003, 01:03 PM   #44
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
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3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

<<Splend has found an old photo manual, and he flips through it slowly. Wistful music plays as he pauses for a moment over a page containing a picture of a happy Jenny and xXx, smiling in each others arms. A single tear drop falls on the page, the wistful music grinds to a crashing halt and the book is thrown across the room>>

Splend : I hate photo albums. The past is a closed door that should never be reop -

<<Suddenly, the long-defunct ship's voice kicks in>>

Ship's Voice : GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MOOOOOOOOOOORNING SCIFLICKS!!! Isn't it just a jolly jolly happy happy joy joy day?!

Splend : <<Sigh>>

Ship's voice : And I'm willing to bet there's a few sleepyhead pilot's out there who need to rise and shine, wake up and smell the coffee - and deal with the giant purple-hamster-filled domino this ship is headed straight for!!!

<<Splend shakes his head in confusion ... is that ... it can't be ... but ... the ship's voice is ... Kieraganion?>>
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Old Oct 9, 2003, 07:14 PM   #45
Kieraganion
Sector Marshall
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782 flights since Oct 2002
Location: F city, F Prefecture (ACROSS Basement).
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

"That's right my dear friends, a Domino filled with purple Hamsters! Now being that I only have paws at the moment, I am unable to do anything. And with Bob about to strike me dea- oh wait, never mind its a lobster with green tenticals! No wait, that's wrong too, it's a giant marble! Oh man, The hamsters are screwing with my head! They must of done something to me when I approached the Doughnut, no sorry, Domino. Some one get up here and turn this giant slice of bread, I mean ship away from the Vibrator! Dammit I mean Domino! We really need to get out of he-" *Phases out for a moment*


*A vocie comes out of Kieraganion, very screetchy and high.*
"THIS IS MALBORT! LEADER OF THE U.E.D. THAT'S 'UNITED EVIL DOMINOS, NOT 'UNITED EARTH DIRECTORATE'. THIS ISN'T STARCRAFT! WE ARE HERE TO INFILTRATE YOUR SHIP AND USE YOU FOR NATURAL RESOURCES, OUR FILE ORGANIZER IS OUT OF GAS." RESISTANCE IF OF COURSE FUTILE. WE HAVE YOU TARGETED AND ARE PREPARING TO BOARD. YOU HAVE 10 MINUTES, THAT IS ALL."

*Phases in*

"-re.... Oh god I think I'm going to pass out. Urgh, ugh-"

*Brief pause.*

"Rain drops keep falling on my head! Houston we have a problem. The ball has been hit into the far left field, its going, going, gone!"

*Titers on the edge of the control panel, then hits the ground, comatose.*

Last edited by Kieraganion : Oct 9, 2003 at 07:23 PM.
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