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Star Wars (1977-2005) [movie series]

Every generation has a legend. Every journey has a first step. Every saga has a beginning. | Episode I guide

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Old Jun 3, 2002, 04:46 PM   #1
Nexus
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Exclamation The Phantom Menace: Special Edition

no, it doesn't exisit. but how would you make TPM better? here's my list:

1. none of that Midichlorion stuff.
2. no virgin birth
3. "Yipee!" = "Holy sh|t!"
4. jar jar and the gungans: "Wipe them out. ALL of them."

any more?
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Old Jun 5, 2002, 10:58 AM   #2
HighWiredSith
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Re: The Phantom Menace: Special Edition

Ever seen the unauthorized Phantom Edit? It is apparently the result of a disgruntled fan taking TPM and simply editing it, minimizing Jar-Jar, eliminating most of the cutesy side of Anakin and maximizing what little of the sinister side we saw, taming some of the over the top CGI, changing all the accented, English talking alien speaking parts to alien language and then adding subtitles (like the original did). Stuff like that. I haven't seen it but it caused a huge uproar when fans and critics claimed it turned a mediocre and lame film into something more fit to reside alongside the originals. I have been dying to see it, unable to imagine how a simple edit could make this movie any better.
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Old Jun 5, 2002, 12:52 PM   #3
JACKER
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Re: The Phantom Menace: Special Edition

I don't see how they could have just started with Episode 2 Sith. It's important to know where Anakin came from. It wouldn't have made sense and we would have been curious.
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Old Jun 8, 2002, 06:22 PM   #4
Cleopatrah
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Re: The Phantom Menace: Special Edition

The Gungans?
*shudder*
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Old Jun 8, 2002, 07:55 PM   #5
SF_not_Sci-Fi
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Re: The Phantom Menace: Special Edition

Gun down the Gungans till they're gone-gone!
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Old Jun 16, 2002, 05:21 AM   #6
Nexus
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Re: The Phantom Menace: Special Edition

HELLBOUND: PHANTOM MENACE II


A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

A vast sea of stars serves as the backdrop for the main title. War drums echo through the heavens as a roll-up slowly crawls up into infinity.

The Phantom Menace completely sucked - especially Jar Jar Binks. In this remake an old man found Jar Jar so annoying that he gave him the Lament Configuration Box which opens a gateway to Hell.
Meanwhile, an argument about how the Jedi will destroy the gungans is being taken place at the Jedi Council on Courascant...

EXT. GALAXY - MISERABLE LITTLE PLANET

We slowly zoom in on the planet.

INT. MISERABL LITTLE PLANET - HOUSE - NIGHT

We see a gungan, Jar Jar Binks, playing with a little box. He opens it and boom! there's a big flash of light and fish hooks fly out of the walls and clip onto the gungan's skin.

Jar Jar Binks:
Meesa gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiie!

INT. JEDI COUNCIL - NIGHT

Mace Windu:
Sh|t! Those Sith motherfu*ker gunagan sh*ts are here! Get my lightsabre!

Jedi:
Which one is it?

Mace Windu:
It's the one which says, "Bad Motherfu*ker" And Yoda, get your @$$ off that chair and do something!

Yoda:
Do something i will!

Yoda eats big kahuna burger and starts smoking Red Apple cigarettes.

Yoda:
Ah, Mr. Pink you will be!

Mace Windu:
oh fu*k no! anyone want to change names?

Ki-Adi Mundu:
I believe we can destroy the gungans by reading a passage from the Necronomican.

Yoda:
Yes, good idea that is. Find it you must! Qui-Gon Jinn travel to Tatooine you will. Bring your apprentice you will! Now fu*k off and leave me alone already!




Last edited by Nexus : Jun 16, 2002 at 05:30 AM.
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