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Old Sep 30, 2004, 01:12 AM   #76
Mattman187
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111 flights since Jul 2003
Location: Bring me one of your young on a roll.
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Suddenly Mattman walks in

Mattman: Guys, how long was I out?

Kieraganion: I don't know... Maybe 4 months?

Mattman notices Kier is some kind of talking cat-man

Mattman: What the ****?

Kieraganion: Yeah, I'm a cat now.

Mattman: Well, I hope that works out for you.... Ooh, Doughnuts!

notices there are no doughnuts left

Mattman: No! Nooooooooooo!!!!!
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Old Oct 3, 2004, 06:14 PM   #77
Quintessa
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Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

*A girl arrives*

Walking in..
Quint: What the hell?

*Falls down due to several running people*

Quint: Oww...

*Stands up, and dusts herself off*

Quint: Hellooo?

*Everyone stops, and looks at the girl*

Quint: Huh? Oh, don't let me stop the chaos.

*Chaos resumes, and Quint finds a couch, sits back with a large tub of popcorn, several m&ms, and a soft drink*

Quint thinks to self: Ooh! A bunch of crazies! How fun!

*Quint sips soda*
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Old Oct 4, 2004, 01:15 AM   #78
Mattman187
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Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Mattman grabs what is left of his bottle of Tequila and starts drinking heavily, due to the fact that all the doughnuts are gone.
He sits on the floor next to Quint's couch.


Mattman: (slurred speech) I forgotted how good Tikilla is.

emptys the bottle

Mattman: Hey! Cat-man-doo... There's a Keginthabredssgum...
Closeemabeeeee....

Kier: What did he say?

Quint: He said,"There's a Keg in the closet"

Kier: Whoo-hoo! Lets get pissed!
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Old Oct 4, 2004, 08:40 AM   #79
Demosthemighty
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Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

<Demos walks in, shakes his head in disgust.>

Demos: Hey, quint!
Quint: What?

<Burns quint in eye with a lit cigarette. Demos procedes to walk around, burning everyone in site>

Demos: DAMN YOU ALL!!!!

<Walks away>
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Old Oct 4, 2004, 04:51 PM   #80
Quintessa
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Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Look, I'm not trying to turn this into a personal war thred.

If you got a problem... MAKE A THREAD! I don wanna spam...

Anyways,

*Quint grabs bottle and drinks*

Quint: **** you. Not by me personally though...







Oh...

Last edited by Quintessa : Oct 4, 2004 at 05:04 PM.
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Old Oct 4, 2004, 05:59 PM   #81
Kieraganion
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Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

*Bright Flash*


This is dream.


*Another flash*

Or perhaps it is you who is in control, and it is they that dream.

*bright flash, followed by a glimpse of puppet strings*

Perhaps, all along, it was they who dreamed.

*another bright flash, followed by a glimpse of puppet strings attached to a hand*

But then I ask you..

*A brighter flash, followed by a glimpse of the Sciflicks members*

What am I?

*Another brighter flash, followed by a glimpse of the Scliflicks squad dangling from puppet strings*

Am I in control?

*A very bright flash, followed by a glimpse of the Sciflicks squad on puppet strings being controlled by a hand*

And it is all of you who sleep?

*A very bright flash followed by darkness*

I think that's the answer. Yes, I'm sure of it.

*Another bright flash, then a glimpse of a blurry dark figure with puppet strings on his hand*

I am the one in control. Now sleep, and let me guide your life.



......


Robed figure, shaking Kier: Sir, please wake up, now is not the time for a catnap!

Kier, A bit groggy: I wasn't having a catnap, I think I blacked out. But what I saw... It make me wonder if this is truly-

*Tack suddenly rushes into the room*

Tack: Oh good, it looks like you've taken care of the purple hamsters. Have them all tied up and sedated, I see. That's good... But we have a problem with Splend, I think he's having a nervous break down.

Bob: I'll go check on him.

Tack: What ever he says, Bob, I didn't do it on purpose.

Bob, eying Tack spaciously: Right.... *Runs out of the room*

Kier: ...
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Old Oct 6, 2004, 07:05 PM   #82
Kieraganion
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Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Is it me, or has this thread died?





Sorry TWL, I tried to keep it going. And to bring the title of the of the story into the... story. But to no avail.
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Old Oct 7, 2004, 12:00 AM   #83
Mattman187
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Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

No, I can end it, Kier...

*All start drinking heavily and die from alcohol poisoning.*
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Old Oct 12, 2004, 05:56 AM   #84
ThinWLady
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Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Quote:
Originally posted by Kieraganion
Is it me, or has this thread died?





Sorry TWL, I tried to keep it going. And to bring the title of the of the story into the... story. But to no avail.
*mysterious music* Pauses may come, new writers may join in and the sky may turn into Yoda-green, *thunder effect* but this thread will not die as long as SciFlicks lives, as long as we can write... Oh, Kier, don't you be sad. *pat*pat* Nice work here...
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Old Nov 15, 2004, 06:36 AM   #85
Splendiferous
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3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

<<Bob rushes into the room Tack recently vacated, with Kier in tow. They find Splend sat alone in the dark, empty room, banging his head on a coolant pipe. Around him are some iron filings, some splinters of wood and the smell of sausage>>

Bob : Um, you alright?

Splend : <<Bonk>> He ate it. <<Bonk>> My lovely sausage <<Bonk>> Ate the pike too, the bastard! <<Bonk>>

Kier : Um, I'm sure it was an accident, man. I mean, people acidentally eat things all the time. I mean, this one time, at band camp -

Bob : This is no time for humourous anecdotes, man! Er, cat! Can't you see this man is suffering from extreme bonking trauma!

<<Kier stars at Bob, with one eyebrow raised. Bob shrugs>>

Bob : It seemed like as good a thing as any to say. <<He turns to Splend>> Snap out of it, Splend, we need you! You're the ships lawyer, and we need legal advice on what to do with those hamsters!

Splend : <<Bonk>> The only thing you can do <<Bonk>> when pets misbehave <<Bonk>> Put them to sleep*.

<<There is a long pause.>>

Kier : Dude, that is SO lacking in Christmas Spirit.

Bob : Hey Kier, I thought you were evil?

Kier : <<Shrugs>> It didn't work out for me. Evil's union isn't as good as they would have you believe.


* Sleep, see, see what I did there? I can be on topic sometimes too
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Old Nov 15, 2004, 07:47 AM   #86
Kieraganion
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Location: F city, F Prefecture (ACROSS Basement).
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Bob: What? Evil has a Union?

Kier: Yeah, but no dental plan. Bloody bastards, do you know what catnip does to my teeth?!

Bob: Wait, isn't that essentially marijuana?

Kier: Quiet you! Here have some amnesia dust! *The person holding Kier throws some dust into Bob's face.

Bob: This is just talcum powder, and... Dammit!... I can't get off my clothes now! You truly are evil!

Kier: Blasted! That's the last time I use Ebay. Humph...

Splend: To sleep! *Bonk*

Bob, turning to Splend: And how do you suggest we do that?

Splend: With your witty remarks and handsome charms! Jeese I don't know! Just do it. *Bonk* *CRASH*

Kier: He knocked himself out, poor bastard.... Get his wallet.

Bob: Don't mind if I do!


________________________________________________



Becks: ...

Jill: ...

Becks: ...

Jill: ...

Becks: ...

Jill: ...

Becks: ...

Jill: ...

Becks Hi!

Jill: Kill!


______________________________________________


Tack: Great, they leave me here with the hamsters while they go off to have fun and get themselves what ever crazy predicaments that seem to constantly plague this ship.

Ambassador Zor: You could just untie me and let me go. Thus you would be able to join your companions in what ever zany adventures come your way.

Tack: As good as that sounds... No. *Grins*I have a better idea in mind.

*Lightning flashes from out of no where and and for a second Tack's shadow changes to that of Johnny.*

Tack: A much better Idea.


______________________________________________


Kier: Did you feel that?

Bob rummaging through Splend's possessions: What? That sudden change in the atmosphere that could only mean some has turned to the darkside?

Kier: No... nevermind. *Thinking to himself: I just had a sudden image of that person in my dream taking over the body of some one on this ship.*

Bob: I think I found it!

Kier: What does it mean...

Bob: It means I'm -er- we're rich!

Kier: not That! ....Nevermind. Let us return to the storage room and check up on the hamsters.

Bob: What about Splend?

Kier: He'll be fine. Look, he's allready comming about, he'll catch up when he's ready.

*Bob and Kier walk off.*

Last edited by Kieraganion : Nov 15, 2004 at 08:18 AM.
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Old Nov 15, 2004, 04:00 PM   #87
Diz
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143 flights since Oct 2004
Location: Myssa-arse end of the universe
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Deep in the black shaddows of the ship's airducts, a redheaded figure watches the maddness silently. She presses herself back against the cold metal as two figures enter the room to look agast at the rapidly multiplying hamsters.
The first figure shouts out in horror:

Bob: They've been breeding

Kier: They're mutating, they must have been at the doughnuts!

They look at each other, realising the implications. One of the hamsters is three foot tall and sits on a chair reading The Times. It looks up and eyes them over it's pince-nez.

Hamster(sounding strangely like Noel Coward): Ah, room service, at last, more doughnuts my good man. Hurry it up. Madame can't be kept waiting you know.

Bob and Kier look to where the hamster is indicating to see another hamster, clearly female, dressed in leather bondage gear. She cracks a whip at them and they scurry from the room.

The hamsters laugh at them as they go, knowing that soon the good ship SciFlicks would be theirs, and there would be nothing these Pilots could do to stop the takeover.

Meanwhile the figure in the airducts sits back, munching chocolate and waiting for the opportune moment...
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Old Nov 16, 2004, 06:36 AM   #88
Splendiferous
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Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

<<Bob enters the code to lock the door, knowing that this will only hold the breeding hamsters for so long>>

Kier : I swear, just give me five minutes in there alone, those filthy rodents -

Bob : - will tear you apart. And despite my own inherantly evil nature, I'm afraid I can't allow that to happen.

Kier : Why not?

Bob : Because I must hear more of Evil's union! They never invite me to the Anuual Megalomaniacs Ball! Bastards! I torture my minions as often as anyone, WHY do they MOCK me so?!

<<Splend comes strolling round the corner, rubbing his temples>>

Splend : I've got this throbbing headache, it feels like I've been banging my head on a coolant pipe! Has anyone seen my wallet?

<<Becks sprints past, pursued by Jill hefting a battleaxe and screaming 'Kill!' This distraction gives Bob enough time to think up a foolproof, plausible cover story>>

Bob : Space Vampyres.

<<Pause>>

Bob : Big ones.

<<A thumping pounding noise comes from behind the door, and the odd whipcrack is heard. Nex comes sprinting round the corner. He spits at Splend's ground in disgust.

Nex : <<to Splend>> I have nothing to say to you! <<He turns to Kier and Bob>> I know how to send them to sleep! Use these! They always work for me!

<<He passes Bob and Kier some easy listening records. They shrug>>

Kier : Worth a try, isn't it?

Bob : Um ... Nex ... how did you know we have to put the hamsters to sleep? You weren't in the room when Splend told us ...

<<Everyone turns and stares at a huge gaping plot-hole in the film. Nex clears his throat.>>

Nex : Space Vampyres.

<<Pause>>

Nex : Big ones.
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Old Nov 16, 2004, 09:49 AM   #89
Kieraganion
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782 flights since Oct 2002
Location: F city, F Prefecture (ACROSS Basement).
Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

Kier: ...Vampires?

Nex: Yeah.

Kier: In space...?

Bob: Yup.

Splend: Vampires?!

Kier: Apparently...

Splend: In space...?

Kier: Looks that way.

Floyd, returning from the kitchen: What's this I here about vampires?

Splend: We're being attacked by Space Vampires.

Floyd: Vampires?!

Bob: Yup.

Floyd: In space...?

Nex: Righty-o.

Iwata, coming from out of no where: What? Did you just say Vampires?!

Kier: Yup

Iwata: In space...?

Splend: Yeah.

TWL, comes floating in from down the hall. Dancing to to Mozart: Space Vampires... Hmmmmm.

Kier: Yup.

TWL: In space...?

Bob: Yup.

TWL: Where's Tack?

Nex: I saw him run off when we got here. He was wearing black leather and mumbling something about keeping the wall wet with blood or "it" will get out... What ever that means. I think the Vampires got him.

The One: Vampires?

Floyd: That's correct.

The One: In space...?

Kier: Exactly.

The One: I'm going to go lay down, this is to much for me. *Walks over to a storage compartment and curls up inside of it.*

The One: My bedroom seems to have gotten much smaller than I remember it being. I think I might be pregnet... ZzZzZzZzZzZ

Bob: How long does it normally take that drug to wear off?

Floyd: That's not important at this juncture. What is important is that we need to take care of not only the hamsters, but now Space Vampires as well. And to make matters worse, they seem to have captured Tack! Either that, or he's being controlled by some maniac who has us all in a sleep spell that we will never know about because Kier is the only who can wake us, since he's seen the guy in his dreams, but I couldn't possibly know that since Kier never told any of us because he has an insidious plan to kill the person who is keeping us asleep and take his position and thus gain immense amount of powers over our lives. But as I said I couldn't possibly know that, thank you very much plot hole, so I'll chalk it up to the Space Vampires and say it's their fault.

*Becks run and Jill run by again*

TWL: What do we do about the hamsters in the next room?

Splend: We put them to sleep with these. *Holds up the records*

Nex: It was my idea. *gleams*

TWL, aka The Amazing Piano Lady: Let me be of service.

*She waves off the records and enters, or rather floats, the room with hamsters, then closes the door behind her.*

Splend: Wow, that is lovely music!

Nex: Indeed! For once I agree with you, you treacherous bastard.

Splend: But I told you, I never did any treachery! We proved that at the meeting!

Nex: I don't recall any meeting!

Splend: We just got of it, what... 1 hour ago! It's the reason we're down here!

Nex: You lie! *Resumes choking Splend.*

Iwata: Has anyone seen where Kier went?

Floyd: I think he went after Tack, though I obviously couldn't have a clue why except to say he went to free him from the evil plot breaking Space Vampires. Yeah... That's why... Ehem.

Iwata: Best of luck to him... You know, that music is very enjoyable.


*The music stops*

Bob: Eh?

*Suddenly the hallway is filled the sound of thousands of screams and gurgles coming from within the room*

Iwata: Dear lord! What is that noise?!?

*The screams dwindle out.. and every thing returns to silence*

Nex: That.... was the most horrific thing I have ever herd.

Splend: Tell me about it...

Floyd: Any want to take a guess at what happened?

Splend: Was it those treacherous Space Vampires? Because I swear that I find out that they hurt TWL I'l-

*The door flings open crashing against the wall and TWL floats out in what looks to be total ecstasy.*

Iwata: What did you do TWL?! You covered in... What is that... Hamster guts?

Nex peaks into the room: Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick.

TWL winks at Iwata: In moment of true ecstasy, I can't help be feel totally attracted to you! Take me! I'm yours!!!!

*She flings herself at Iwata, a look of lust in her eyes*

Iwata: Hell yeah!!! I hit the Jack pot!

Splend: Wait!!!! Look at her! She's not even TWL anymore!

Iwata: You stop me to tell me that?! You think I care?! Nex... Choke him.

Nex: Don't mind if I do! *Resumes choking splend* But you really should help TWL before she goes overboard, instead of... You know.

Iwata: What?! Did you honestly think I would take advantage of her? Ehem... I would never do that!... Yeah. *cough*

Floyd: I'll do it... Seesh. *He walks over to TWL and quickly covers her mouth with a cloth covered in chloroform. She quickly passes out.*

Nex: Where the hell did you get that?!

Iwata, looking at Nex: I bet you the only reason he would need that around is to......

Floyd: That was easy *removes the cloth and lets the comatose Iwata plop to the floor.*

Nex: knocking our fellow pilots out is not going to help in our current situation.

Floyd: And choking them is?

Nex: Point taken. *Let's go of Splend, who falls to the floor gasping for air*

Splend: you know...*Gasp*... I'd say we're pretty screwed.

Nex: How so?

Splend: Well, first there is Kier and Tack. Both of them, at this moment in time, are filled to the brim with evil. Tack because he has been taken over by a maniac, and kier because he is out to kill the maniac and take his place- but we couldn't possibly know that about Kier, damn plot hole, so I can only say that he is out to kill the Space Vampires. But he's still evil. I mean, did you see Bob's shirt? Speaking of Bob, I can only guess that his disappearance is because he's off some where to formulate is plans for the Bobiverse. Both TWl, The One, and Iwata are passed out and can be of no hope to us. Becks and Jill are locked in a fight to the death, and can't be relied on at this moment.

Nex: yeah, yeah... We get it. We're the only ones who can do something.

Floyd: But what?

Splend: Beats me...

Last edited by Kieraganion : Nov 16, 2004 at 10:11 AM.
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Old Nov 16, 2004, 10:17 AM   #90
Tack
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Re: Da Ultimately Sad SciFlicks SQUAD! Movie: The Big Sleep

*The sharply eged shadow of Tack passes by the mess hall.*

The sound of Betoven's 5th symphany floats in the air.

Last edited by Tack : Nov 16, 2004 at 06:29 PM.
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