Go Back   Home > SciFlicks SQUAD! Forums > Sci-Fi Nation > Fan/Original Fiction

Welcome to the SciFlicks SQUAD! Forums.

You are currently viewing our community boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and access our other FREE features. By joining our free and open-minded sci-fi community you will be able to start and reply to forum discussions, write movie reviews, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or with your account please contact support here.

Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Jan 10, 2003, 09:27 AM   #46
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
Splendiferous's Avatar
3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

Splend : This place is like a goddamn maze!

Pred : ...with freaky time-space portals and stuff.

Splend : Yeah, that too. I mean, where the **** are we?

<<The one is flipping through a map. Splend and Pred stare at her, until she stops, aware of their gaze. There is an awkward silence as they stare at each other.

One : What?

Pred : You little ... ! Why didn't you tell us you had a map before?!

One : <<grovelling>> Because master didn't ask!

Splend : <<to Pred>> See, I told you i'd fit LOtR into the next post

One : According to the Map, We Are Here. <<She indicates a huge arrow on the map, next to a vending machine. They look around. They see a vending machine.>>

Splend : How odd.

Pred : **** odd, I want a cup of tea.

<<He walks over to the machine. Splend thinks, a look of horror on his face. He lunges fro Pred>>

Splend : Pred, no! This is NEX'S Temple! God knows what kind of trouble that machine will go to to get your tea!

<<Pred ignores him, shaking him off. He walks up to the machine>>

Pred : <<to machine>> Tea.
Splendiferous is offline
Old Jan 10, 2003, 10:44 AM   #47
The one......
Sector Marshall
The one......'s Avatar
600 flights since Dec 2002
Location: inside my mind-wanna join me?
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

The machine starts groaning and creaking and two bubbles start to form on either side of it.

Splend: oh my!

Pred: Tea?

One: *laughs* oh the amusement of this place!

The bubbles start forming liquid terminator 2 style and forming into long shapes.

(The director strolls in with a chuffed face, we've got the cash to play with boys and girls!We're now proudly sponsered by LOTR thanks to our geniously adapted script!)

Splend: Oh Christ! That means anything can happen now...

Pred: *starts stepping back*wtf?

the machine has grown 2 arms and reaches out to grab a shaking Pred.

Pred: mummy! Argggggghhhhhh (The machine has grabbed Pred, tightly in its mechanical arms)

Splend: I bloody told you, Pred, but oh no you wouldn't listen.YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!

One: *still laughing*Oh the effects are stunning!

MAchine: *in very scary mechanical bellowing voice* TEA? TEA? YOU WEASLY CREATION, I AM MORE THAN A TEA MAKER!

Pred: (has a rather nasty stain on the back of his trousers) I-I-I

Splend: Well you've just gone and done it now, Pred.

Machine: YOU DEMAND , AS THOUGH YOU EXPECT ME TO OBEY. DID PLEASE EVER CROSS YOUR MIND?

Pred: o-o-o-it d-d-d-did, h-honestly

One: then just ask it politely for a cup of tea, Pred.

Splend: uh, yeh like that's gonna work!

Pred: Shut up Splend, I'll try anything to get out of these arms!
Um, may I have a cup of tea, please?

And sure enough the machine gently put Pred down and released his grip on him.He started to brew a cup of tea for Pred.

Machine: Tea? of course sir. Sugar? milk with that? I'm sorry for getting angry there, but no one seems to have any manners any more and I've just had enough. I do apologise sir. Can I offer you a biscuit to go with?

Pred sips his tea and ponders on what choice of bicky he wants.

Machine: (looking over at Splend ans One) and can I get anything for you two lost looking souls?
The one...... is offline
Old Jan 10, 2003, 11:29 AM   #48
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
Splendiferous's Avatar
3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

One : Oh, well, since you ask, could I have a Gin and tonic? with lemon, and one of those cheesy bisucuits, perhaps?

Splend : Nothing for me, thanks.

Pred : Erm ... could, um, I have one of those Digestive Biscuits? Please?

Machine : Go right ahead.

<<A small slot opens in the machine's front, and a small round Digestive buscuit sits inside. Pred, looking first at Splend and One for encouragement, reaches inside. Immediately, metal fingers securely grip his arm, and the machine starts whirring.>>

Pred : What the fu - ?

Machine : <<Cackling evilly>> Ha! you thought I was a vending machine! My cunning disguise worked! I'm so much morwe than that, as I already said! I'm a deathtrap, designed for severing limbs, striking terror into the hearts of infiltrators ... and blowing up!

Splend and One : Blowing up?!

Pred : Severing Limbs?! <<He tries to pull his arm out, bt it is gripped fast>> Oh **** ...

Splend : Look, we can talk this out like reasoning, rational sentient beings, right?

Machine : No. Countdown to Destruction commencing ... 10 ... 9 ...
Splendiferous is offline
Old Jan 12, 2003, 11:18 AM   #49
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
Splendiferous's Avatar
3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

*Bump*

Splendiferous is offline
Old Jan 12, 2003, 11:43 AM   #50
Nexus
Psycho Teddy Sausage
Nexus's Avatar
3,648 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Seraph's pocket
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

Splend:
Wait a minute...(to vending machine) I'll have a beer.

Vending machine:
Finally - some normal people.

*Gives him some beer. Splend drinks it.*

Splend:
(to the group) It's okay.

Predn:
(to vending machine) Um...what are the stuff are we allowed to get anyway?

Vending machine:
Ah, certainly. Sorry if i scared you, by the way. I am a vending machine. I just have to destroy the people who ask for something I can't give.

Predn:
Heh. Right...

Vending machine:
Beer. Lager. Donuts. Muffins.

Predn:
What, no chocolate?

*Vending machine gives him an S Club CD.*

Predn:
Little bastard...
Nexus is offline
Old Jan 12, 2003, 12:06 PM   #51
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
Splendiferous's Avatar
3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

One : So, if we ask for world peace ...

Machine : 8 ... 7 ... 6 ...

Splend : No! no! Muffins, give us muffins! Please!!

Machine : Hokey-dokey. <<It gives them muffins>>

Pred : And, erm, could you perhaps see fit to letting go of my arm?

Machine : I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

Pred : Erm ... my name's not Dave ...

Machine : It isn't? Oh, well, that's ok then.

<<It releases him>>

One : Well, it's been swell, but we really should get along now. Places to go, treasure to steal -

Splend : - RECOVER! Heheh, she meant to say recover, we're all big friends of nex, here, we'd never steal from him. We want to find his stuff to ... to ...

Pred : ... keep it safe for him, until he graces us with his presence.

Splend : Well done, Pred!
Splendiferous is offline
Old Jan 12, 2003, 12:21 PM   #52
Nexus
Psycho Teddy Sausage
Nexus's Avatar
3,648 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Seraph's pocket
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

*They all run away.*

Splend:
Predn! Nex's treasure was stolen. WE'RE trying to get it back for him. And, of course, nick a couple of stuff...

The one....:
I think we need to go through this door here.

*They go through it and end up in a swamp. There are dead bodies in it.*

Splend:
Ah, if I remember correctly...don't follow the light coming from the water.

Predn:
(off-screen) Say what?

*Zoom-out. Predn is looking at a body. Suddenly he falls in.*

INT. UNDERWATER - NIGHT

*Underwater we see Eddie, Iron maiden's mascot. Splend's hand appears and pulls him back up.*

INT. DEAD MARSHES - NIGHT

Predn:
Splend! You wouldn't believe -

Splend:
I've seen The Two Towers, Predn. I know what's down there and I don't want to have a look. Now, c'mon...

The one....
According to this map there should be a very small hut here.

*They come across a hut with Yoda outside it.*

Splend:
Ah, I see - Yoda tells us something? Does he train us to become a Jedi master?

The one....:
No. Apparently the real Yoda's on Dagobah. This Yoda is just a model. Like a dwarf you put in a garden...

*They go inside the hut.*

INT. HUT - NIGHT

*Inside the hut is...a resteraunt! It's also looks bigger on the inside.*

Predn:
Damn, this is getting weird.

Splend:
There's something awfully familiar about this place...

*Suddenly Tim Roth gets up from his seat with a gun.*

Tim Roth:
Everybody be cool - this is a robbery!

Splend:
Oh NO...!

*Amanda Plummer is there and also has a gun.*

Amanda Plummer:
Any of you ****in' pricks move and I'll execute every one of you mother****ers! Got that?

*Splend, Predn and The one....have already left.*
Nexus is offline
Old Jan 12, 2003, 01:08 PM   #53
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
Splendiferous's Avatar
3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

Back outside the hut, the three intrepid tomb-robbers - sorry, I mean adventurers, encounter a strange man in a business suit.

Stranger : Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might recognise me from such movie threads as "SciFlicks : A New Hope" "SciFlicks : Episode One" and "Sciflciks Squad Superstars."

Splend : Erm ... that's nice. Why are you here?

Troy : I'm here to point you in the right direction. It's over there.

Splend, Pred and one look 'over there' but there is just a blank wall. They turn back to Troy to ask what the **** is going on, but he's gone. They turn to look 'over there' again - and find an escalator headed upstairs. they look around, and find that suddenly they're in a mall.

One : Curiouser and curioser.

Splend : Indeed. We appear to be in a shpping mall.

Outside one of the stores, a tall thin blond guy dances next to a shorter, fatter man in a leather coat and baseball cap combo. The fatter man is staring intently at a cigarette in his palm, hoping to influence it with the force. His companion stops dancing, and slaps him on the back of his head.

Jay : Cut that sh*t out, tubby bit*h!

Silent Bob : <<rolls his eyes>>

Splend : Hmmm ... those two look like they know what's going on, let's go ask them.

One : Oh my god, there's a kid caught in the escalator!

Pred : Well, he shouldn't have been left unattended, then.
Splendiferous is offline
Old Jan 12, 2003, 01:21 PM   #54
Nexus
Psycho Teddy Sausage
Nexus's Avatar
3,648 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Seraph's pocket
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

Predn:
Let's get outta here...

*They leave.*

INT. OUTSIDE - NIGHT

*There's nothing there.*

Splend:
God, what now? This is annoying!

Predn:
Yeah! I sometimes get the feeling that God is making fun of me...and my friends. And all the teachers at my school. I'm outta here - don't touch me!

Splend:
Huh?

*Predn walks off. Suddenly a giant wall appears and closes in on him.*

Predn:
(off-screen) What the fu*k?

*Troy McClure appears.*

Troy McClure:
If anyone ever feels the way you do this giant wall with bricks made out of fear and bad memories appear round you. Soon you will have strange hallucinations, including flowers fu*king each other.

Predn:
(off-screen) WHAT?!

Troy McClure:
All in all, it's just another brick in the wall.

*Zoom-out. They're all standing on a big brick in a wall. Zoom back in.*

Predn:
(annoyed) That's it!

*Suddenly some marching hammers appear and stamp on Troy McClure.*

Troy McClure:
Ow! Ow! Ow! Okay, we'll move the wall away.

*The Wall vanishes. Splend and The one....run up to Predn.*

Splend:
Are you alright?

Predn:
I dunno...I feel...comfortably numb.
Nexus is offline
Old Jan 12, 2003, 01:27 PM   #55
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
Splendiferous's Avatar
3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

Meanwhile, back at the mall ...
Splendiferous is offline
Old Jan 12, 2003, 01:44 PM   #56
Nexus
Psycho Teddy Sausage
Nexus's Avatar
3,648 flights since Dec 2001
Location: Seraph's pocket
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

*Linda Fiorentino is walking about when suddenly...*

Jay:
Hey!!!

Linda Fiorentino:
Oh no...

*Suddenly Splend comes rushing in with a dog leesh round his neck. Predn is holding it and trying to stop Splend. The one....follows.*

Linda Fiorentino:
What the...?

Predn:
(to Splend) No! C'mon, lett's go get the trasure...

*Splend is panting like a dog at the sight of Linda Fiorentino.*

Linda Fiorentino:
Oh God...NOBODY IS FU*KING ME!!!
Nexus is offline
Old Jan 16, 2003, 04:39 PM   #57
Predalien
Cluster Admiral
Predalien's Avatar
203 flights since Jul 2002
Location: Leeds, England, The Earth (also lived in other places such as Bristol and Exeter)
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

bump
Predalien is offline
Old Jan 18, 2003, 06:57 AM   #58
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
Splendiferous's Avatar
3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

Bump again - I'll write when I've got more time
Splendiferous is offline
Old Jan 18, 2003, 01:04 PM   #59
Predalien
Cluster Admiral
Predalien's Avatar
203 flights since Jul 2002
Location: Leeds, England, The Earth (also lived in other places such as Bristol and Exeter)
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

Quote:
Originally posted by Splendiferous
Bump again - I'll write when I've got more time
I know what you mean...
Predalien is offline
Old Jan 18, 2003, 03:18 PM   #60
Splendiferous
Old One Pikeman
Splendiferous's Avatar
3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Re: Oh no! Not another movie thread! That's right, it's NOT another movie thread

Splend : Well, what if it was the end of the world, and -

Fiorentino : Hell no, I'm not agreeing to that one again!

Pred : Come on, Splend - HEEL! HEEL!

<<Pred pulls him offscreen. Linda F shakes her head and walks away, as Jay starts rapping. He and Silent Bob do the weird head dance, as the screen fades>>

Nex : <<Voiceover>> It began in the darkness of the begininninninning - sorry, that's such a hard word. Ahem. It began in the darkness of the beginning of time. An unspeakable evil, awakening in the night. Filled with a consuming desire to devour, it - look, I can't carry on like this, this is crap! Who wrote this sh*t?!

Splend : <<Voiceover>> It was me. You'll read what you're given, mate, that's what we're paying you for.

Nex : <<Voiceover>> Oh, alright then. Where was I? Oh yea ... desire to devour, it reached out with its tendrils of hatred <<sigh>> muttermutterThisIsCrapmuttermutter and felt the area around it - an area that remained empty for aeons ... until ... one day, there was life. But it was not suitable life. The Evil needed a specific kind of mind, not an evil mind, or a good mind, just a ... different mind. It found one ... in the body of Nex, who would one day become ... the Donut Warrior.

<<And now the flash opening credits.>>

And this is where the movie really starts
Splendiferous is offline
Closed Thread

← Previous Thread | Next Thread → Home > SciFlicks SQUAD! Forums > Sci-Fi Nation > Fan/Original Fiction

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Silent hill: The movie
Many many many many, Heck a whole plethora (I just love using that word... it's all Iwata's fault if you need someone to blame for it) load of you...
22
replies
Terminator 4
by heck  |  Forum: Terminator 4 (2008)
I think they should make Terminator 4. There are some questions left unanswered. First of all, in T3, John Connor is told he is going 2 get killed...
36
replies
Game: Describe a movie
Rules: 1.You have to give 3 or more main Details about a movie. The movie doesn't have to be a scifi flick. You can use a movie more then...
220
replies
Super hero movie cast suggestions of 11/25/03
Comic Book Hero Movie Casting Suggestions Spider-Man 3 cast Tobey MaGuire (Spider-Man) as Peter Parker/Spider-Man Howie Long (Broken Arrow,...
7
replies
Demolition Man reviews (the good only and only for people that liked the movie)
The Many Good Reviews of Demolition Man These are reviews by various people all over the world. Those are all the good Demolition Man reviews. I...
18
replies
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
 

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:47 AM.
SciFlicks cannot be held liable for the opinions expressed in these public forums.
SciFlicks Copyright 1998-2011, Popcorn Studios.
vBulletin Copyright © 2000-2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.