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Old May 21, 2008, 05:25 PM   #1
Old One Pikeman
Splendiferous's Avatar
3,132 flights since Mar 2002
Location: Dreaming in plush R'lyeh
Return of the Living Sciflicks 2 : A Chillingly Terrifying Sequel

<<It is a dark and stormy night somewhere in the forests of Europe. Torrential rain falls and lightning flashes, illuminating an elaborate Gothic castle on a crag, high above the dark forests below. Besides the rain there is not a speck of movement. Except wait - yes there is. Two figures in the distance pick their way across the landscape, moving slowly up the crag. There is a slow camera zoom towards them, but they're so far away the director decides to cut to the two figures in a sloppy half-assed tribute to the original film's opening.>>

Splend : I honestly don't know why I go on holiday with you anymore.

Nex : Shut up.

Splend : And if you ask me, this is a bit of an odd destination for a package holiday.

Nex : Shut up.

Splend : I mean, I've never even heard of Castle Alucard. And that travel agents office was a bit dingy and cobwebby, wasn't it?

Nex : Shut up.

Splend : And of course it's bloody raining AGAI -

<<Nex violently punches Splend in the mouth and knees him in the groin for good measure>>

Splend : <<wheezing squeakily>> Was it something I said?

<<Nex eyes his brochure and the camera focuses on it. Though the writing says 'Come to Sunny Castle Alucard!', the picture is of scantily clad female volleyball players. Nex sighs wistfully in hope.>>

Last edited by Splendiferous : May 21, 2008 at 05:31 PM.
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Old May 22, 2008, 05:56 PM   #2
Father of Lies
Demosthemighty's Avatar
1,104 flights since Jun 2004
Location: The left hand of power
Re: Return of the Living Sciflicks 2 : A Chillingly Terrifying Sequel

A twig snaps next to Splend and Nex, and the two clutch each other in paranoid fear. Demos steps out of the trees. He notices the two.

Demos: who the hell are you two? And why is he rolling around in the mud clutching his scrotal area?

Nex: Because he wouldn't quite whining about this trivial pothole in our trip to Castle Alucard.

Demos: Ah, that makes sense. I'm actually headed up there myself. I'm going for the open bar baby!

Demos walks past Splend. He stares at the wounded and bleeding Splend, then gives him a vicious kick to the kneecap.

Demos: Quit whining!
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