Gulf War II: The Video Game

[Iwata]

From Uncyclopedia. I was laughing my ass off.

*Welcome to #Iraq!*


*USA has entered the game*

USA: saddam you fukin hax, u got wmdz

SadDam_da_MAN: hav i fuk

SadDam_da_MAN: rtfm, u fukkin n00b

SadDam_da_MAN: if i had em id’ve used em on u

USA: bull**** you got sum

USA: i know, i sold em 2 u b4

Tony_UK: haha, rumbled. go USA

SadDam_da_MAN: i used em all on kurdish_guy in teh last game

SadDam_da_MAN: i havnt got n e more

USA: ok, just give me sum oil then

SadDam_da_MAN: yea right

SadDam_da_MAN: u tried that shyt b4

*Insp3ct0r_Hans has entered the game*

Insp3ct0r_Hans: sup evry1

Tony_UK: hi hans

Insp3ct0r_Hans: wutz happenin

USA: saddam reckons he aint got no wmdz left

USA: and my names micky mouse

SadDam_da_MAN: fuk off

SadDam_da_MAN: hans look at my inventory

SadDam_da_MAN: tell this dumshyt wat i got

SadDam_da_MAN: go on

Insp3ct0r_Hans: I cant see n e thing

USA: bull****

USA: look closer

Insp3ct0r_Hans: dude, theres nothing here

Insp3ct0r_Hans: xcept sand

USA: bull**** hes hiding them

Insp3ct0r_Hans: seriously dude

SadDam_da_MAN:LOL

USA:saddam, stfu

USA:lyin ****

SadDam_da_MAN: right hans, get out

Insp3ct0r_Hans: fine, whateva

Insp3ct0r_Hans: u guys r ghey ne way

*Insp3ct0r_Hans has left the game*

SadDam_da_MAN: who looks like a rite **** USA?

Tony_UK: stfu saddam hes right

SadDam_da_MAN: ooh sorry

SadDam_da_MAN: didn’t mean to upset ur boyfriend,LOL

*King_Kofi has entered the game*

King_Kofi: USA leave him alone

SadDam_da_MAN: hahaha

King_Kofi: STFU saddam, no 1 likes u either

King_Kofi: but u will b alright if u don’t **** with ne1

USA: OMG, kofi who made u GM

King_Kofi: um, every 1 actually

King_Kofi: we took a vote, remember dum****?

USA: **** u, i don’t care

*USA has put King_Kofi on ‘Ignore’*

USA: yo blair you with me

Tony_UK: wateva u say, USA

Tony_UK: hey germany u with us?

schroeda': ur nuts

schroeda': me n jacques will sit this 1 out

jacques_napoleon: hes right

Pootyboy: n dont say we didn't warn ya!

USA: pussys

Tony_UK: haha

*USA has attacked SadDam_da_MAN!*

SadDam_da_MAN:WTF!!?

SadDam_da_MAN: u fukkin h4xx0r

*Tony_UK has attacked SadDam_da_MAN!*

SadDam_da_MAN: omg u ****in a$$holes

USA: lol, got ur airport u lamerz

*baghdad_bob is no longer idle*

baghdad_bob: bull****

baghdad_bob: u aint in the airport

baghdad_bob: we still got it

baghdad_bob: all ur troops r ded

baghdad_bob: the rest r running away crying

Tony_UK: u r so full of **** dude

USA: oops there goes another statue

USA:lol

Tony_UK, PM to USA: wtf are you doin with that flag!

USA, PM to Tony_UKops

Tony_UK: were in ur base killin ur d00dz

Tony_UK:nice city LOL

baghdad_bob: u lying infidel

baghdad_bob: we r winning

*USA has captured SadDam_da_MAN’s base!*

USA:LOL, mission accomplished, LOL

Tony_UK: yeah

*SadDam_da_MAN has entered hidden mode*

USA:wtf?

Tony_UK: dude this new patch is all screwed up

Tony_UK: i cant use my democracy skill

Tony_UK: u try

USA: hang on

*USA has captured SadDam_da_MAN!*

USA: haha, lam3r

USA: that should settle it

SadDam_da_MAN: fuk u guyz

*USA has put SadDam_da_MAN on trial!*

*SadDam_da_MAN has attacked the judge!*

*fundaMENTALIST has entered the game*

fundaMENTALIST: lol, thx u guys

fundaMENTALIST: I got half his stuff now

*4 American Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*30 Iraqi civilians killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*1 American Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*23 Iraqi civilians killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*6 Iraqi civilians killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*2 American Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

USA:WTF!?

*24 Iraqi civilians killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*7 Iraqi civilians killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*3 American Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

fundaMENTALIST: ROFLMAO

*6 Iraqi civilians killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*Western media raise log severity threshold to 3*

*2 American Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

USA: o ****

*9 American Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*American Civilian beheaded on TV!*

*4 American Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

USA: **** the retreat button aint working

*3 American Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*2 British Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*American Civilian beheaded on TV!*

USA: why is it greyed out?

*11 American Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

Tony_UK: mine too

*4 American Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*American Civilian beheaded on TV!*

*3 British Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*British Civilian beheaded on TV!*

Tony_UK: ****

*5 American Soldiers killed by Suicide Bomber!*

*Western media raise log severity threshold to 5*

USA: ah thats better

USA: this game sux0rs

Tony_UK: 2 rite. after this I won't get a third term thats for sure

USA: @ least we got oil now

Tony_UK: yeah haha

Tony_UK: gimme sum

*Oil Pipeline takes 33 points damage*

*Oil Pipeline takes 48 points damage*

*Oil Pipeline takes 27 points damage*

fundaMENTALIST: Wheee!

*Oil Pipeline takes 32 points damage*

USA: WTF!

*Oil Pipeline takes 51 points damage*

Tony_UK: fuk!

*Oil Pipeline takes 36 points damage*

*Oil Pipeline takes 12 points damage*

USA: Hey! $$$ 4 hlp!

*BulGARia is no longer idle*

*ITALY is no longer idle*

*Spainster is no longer idle*

ITALY: sup d00ds

USA: hlp plz

Spainster: shur

*Spaniards killed by Suicide Bomber!*

Spainster: OMG! im outta here

*Spainster has left the game*

BulGARia: k

*Rising_sun is no longer idle*

*P0lL0cK is no longer idle*

ITALY: ill hlp 2 4 $

Rising_sun: ill hlp 4 oil

USA: shur

P0lL0cK: lets rock d00dz

USA: aright

fundaMENTALIST: whuts with all these n00bs?

*Foreign diplomats have been taken hostage!*

fundaMENTALIST: lolz u suk!

USA: fuk u that was cheep

Tony_UK: yea!

*British Soldiers killed by American Soldiers!*

jacques_napoleon: look guys i told you this game sux

USA: STFU!!!1!

*al_Sadr has joined the game!*

al_Sadr: USA u r ghey

*al_Sadr has struck USA!*

USA: OMG stop him!

Tony_UK: sorry cant do that

*kurdMAN has joined the game!*

*****e has joined the game!*

*sUNNI has joined the game!*

kurdMAN: yo guys i wanna play 2

****e: USA fuk off this is my g@me

sUNNI: kiss my @ss ****e!!!!1!!

USA: OMFG!!!

*fundaMENTALIST has blown up a Shiite mosque!***

****e: OMG! thats my place! some1 will pay 4 this!!!!1!

*****e has struck sUNNI!*

*sUNNI has struck ****e!*

USA: yo ****heads STOP IT!!!

jacques_napoleon: U RETARD I TOLD U THIS GAME SUX

USA: STFU!!!

jacques_napoleon: U STFU n00b!!1!

*****e has struck sUNNI!*

*sUNNI has struck ****e!*

*****e has struck sUNNI!*

*sUNNI has struck ****e!*

USA: fuk!!!

*Entering Civil War mode!*

USA: WTF!!! Who said Civil War??

Tony_UK: this game suxs now im out.

USA: YOU CANT LEAVE n00b!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!

*SadDam_da_MAN has been deleted from the game, with his IP permabanned, by the Iraqi Justice System*

eyeRak1: w00t

USA: T00K J00 LONG ENUF J00 N00B!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@!!!@!!

L-Mal: stfu

*Western Media reports public approval ratings at historical minimum*

Spainster: USA, this is a right mess. stop now yes?

BulGARia: Wld be about time, too

ITALY: yeah, come on stop it

Rising_sun: just accept you lost and move on

USA: stfu you sissies!!!!!

Tony_UK: well, they have a point though, can't we just talk to Iran and ask to stop this ****?

USA: You shut up too *****!!

*USA loses mid-term elections*

USA: fuk!

USA: er...

USA:

USA: you guys? i had this great idea? I think we need a "new approach" now.

[Splendiferous]

Superb, pretty much spot on

Is it sad (or just weird) that I don't play any multiplayer games, yet I understood every word of that?

[Sharky]

That was quite possibly the funniest thing I have read in a long long time. Whoever came up with that deserves a medal. Simply genius.